10 Signs that you might be a 'Jalra' case!

Jalra
Def: Suck ups!

1. You are always saying yes. Irrespective of whether you understood it or not
2. You laugh at jokes you don't even understand
3. You're the first one to stand up in a fight against them
4. You are always reassuring them that they are the best
5. You agree to whatever decision they take
6. Their friends are your friends
7. You seem positively happy with their life's decisions; irrespective of how it impacts you
8. You are constantly complimenting them on their clothes and appearance
9. If asked to vote, your vote is for them. All the time
10. You go where they go, you sit where they sit, you stand when they stand, basically you just exist because they do

Revisiting my love story!

Years ago I started writing on this fictitious character called Naaz and her love interest Dev. It was a plain love story between Naaz and Dev, set in the backdrop of their college years. However, I quiet didn't get the whole picture together and I stopped writing their story a while ago. The abstracts are here in bits and pieces on this blog. I wish I had a better vision before I started writing it down because I feel odd to just cut short their romance due to my lack of vision. 

Therefore, I have decided to revisit this story once again. This time with more preparation on where the story is heading to and how it finally ends.

If everything goes as per plan, I will have accomplished my dream to publish a book.

Let's hope! :)

Things I forgot after Internet came into my life

1. Writing on paper
2. Writing neatly
3. Writing letters
4. Pen pals
5. Sending Birthday greetings through post
6. Spelling 'Birthday' as 'Birthday'
7. Sending Christmas greetings through post
8. Enjoying the vacation without instagramming it
9. Enjoying the meal without instagramming it
10. Enjoying anything in life without instagramming it
11. Calling friends over phone
12. Taking pictures in the studio
13. Talking to parents/adults/siblings without looking at the phone/laptop/iPad/desktop
14. Dial Up existed
15. Playing games outside
16. Reading books
17. Going to the Library
18. Reading books in the Library for assignments
19. Looking up the Dictionary. Owning a Dictionary
20. Remembering phone numbers
21. We are not robots 

Stinkers and how to react to them

It's no big deal receiving stinkers from your reporting authorities at work. But whether or not you choose to react to them and how you react is a big deal.

Sometimes, these stinkers can really stink, I mean, really really make you feel like you're an absolute piece of trash, good for nothing sloth, undeserving of your place in the company. 

But no matter how stinky and soul-crushing that might sound, you have to remember that the person typing that from the other end is just a human being. 

I know it is difficult to see it from that angle. Because he/she just called you a $&*&$^%#~@!@! and ridiculed you, obviously they look like Lucifer's first cousin and you absolutely wish they were dead. But, if we try and be calm (may be for 2 minutes) that murderous feeling will probably die down. And don't immediately go on a "begging for forgiveness" spree, typing 'SORRY' and 'APOLOGIES' in every sentence, making the email look like all the 'sorries' and 'apologies' and just barfed all over your screen. Hold on to that also. 

Do's:

If you receive stinkers at work, read the email once and close the screen.

Open it again after a minute or two and re-read it. Think of it as your reading comprehension exercise. 

Summarize the content into one or two simple lines. 

Analyze - what went wrong? Who is wrong? What could have been done? What alternate solutions can you suggest? How can you make things better? Do you need to apologize? What is the relevant assurance you can provide?

[don't be biased and side yourself] 

[Don't try to look for someone to transfer the blame onto.]

[Remember it is the situation that has triggered your boss's frustration. Not YOU!]

Jot down your findings. 

Read your findings and what according to you could have been done to have avoided this situation. 

Compose an email with this and add appropriate apology notes where required and send it across. 

Don't:

Hurl abuses at your boss

Discuss this with your friends at work

Ignore the email

Respond back in curt language

Blame others/team

Be embarrassed to apologize if wrong 

Bad mouth boss over lunch 

Bad mouth boss in general 

Scoff at people randomly just because you are being scoffed at

Initiate exit

Stinkers are part and parcel of work culture and the sooner we learn to embrace them (I know it hurts) we will be able to grow as better professionals.

They are like those annoying neighbours who come home to gossip. You have to welcome them in and give them tea & snacks.

Some interesting things I learnt from Indian movies

1. The hero is always a simpleton who has extraordinary Judo, wrestling, boxing, karate and other ninja fighting techniques

2. The heroine, no matter from which community or state or locality, is the most well dressed, decked in make-up and fashion forward woman alive on Earth

3. All the heroine's friends are unattractive

4. The heroine is annoying, childish and cute at the same time. She just doesn't understand the seriousness of life

5. The villain always falls in love with the heroine. But he has lustful intentions whereas the hero has saintly intentions

6. The heroine falls in love with the hero after days of stalking, torturing, slapping by the hero

7. The heroine loves blind men, poor people, puppies, and kids

8. Whenever someone is in trouble, like a puppy wants to cross the road, the heroine (from nowhere) appears and does the honours

9. The wind's speed is always a 100 km/h when the hero sees the heroine

10. From the day the hero first sees his heroine, they 'accidentally' meet and bump into each other everywhere for the next couple of years till they finally get married

11. The hero has a husky voice

12. But can sing the most melodious songs ever

13. He can always dance and is an excellent 'kutthu' dancer

14. The hero certainly does not believe in the Indian Education System

15. The climax always takes place during monsoon season

Yo!

This is not the 'yo-yo' of the English, British types 'Funky dude yo-yo.' It is the Tamil, 'Poya yo' types of 'Yo.'
And why I am saying this 'yo' is because I am slightly irritated. So, the yo. Yo, poya yo.

You know huh, in office also there is something called the honeymoon phase. In that phase, boss is smiling all the time, boss is praising your work, colleagues are laughing and giggling like anything, other people are always happy and you are feeling like, wow, this is only heaven I think.

But, it seems this honeymoon also is short time only. After that phase, boss is grumpy and sending stinkers via emails, boss is calling your work is crap like things, colleagues are running race with you, other people are talking bad things  about your back, sorry, behind your back.

This is only called true working phase. In your mind you will think, ayyooo why I came here to work. It is torture.

But now only you should think and say, 'all this will pass da.'

It won't pass. You will only pass. But good to say such things. We have to be like a buffalo in the work place. Anybody scolds means we have to stand quietly like chomping grass and walk away and do work. Anybody saying you are lazy and useless means, we should walk like we did not hear anything. Really like a buffalo we must become. Then one day, we will be doing our work without anybody disturbing us, because they are thinking, anyway this buffalo nothing will get in the skin, so why to shout.

Orreeyy jolly only that time. Soon, when boss is shouting means, we will smile like anything. From our buffalo eyes, all will look like buffalo to us.

So, all of you who are thinking work is bad and such type of things, please you first become buffalo in the mind. Then all is well only!

maaaaaaah!

Say it and move on!

Yesterday I was watching an episode of Big Bang Theory, the one where Amy ruins Raiders of the Lost Ark for Sheldon. Sheldon unable to come to terms with the fact that Amy ruined what was one of his favorite movies come up with sinister plans to ruin something for her. He decides to ruin one of her favorite childhood movies. However, Amy stops him and simply tells him that since they are in a relationship, revenge is not an option. Sheldon should have told Amy how hurt he was and they could have talked it over.

That's a nice lesson to take away and apply in our relationships. Not only the relationships with our BF/GFs, spouse but even the ones with our friends, colleagues, siblings and most importantly, parents. Every relationship thrives on the participants' involvement in the relationship. I know we generally associate the term relationship to love, but hey, no harm in loving everyone around you. Let's not take the term literally here, because the lesson we learn will only help us become a better individual.

Your relationship with a friend need not take an ugly turn just because she did not call you on your b'day or because she went away with somebody else for a movie. Your relationship with your colleagues need not become tense just because they are doing well at work or because they are getting along better with your boss. If you can't openly express your problems, don't seek revenge silently. Instead make an effort, no matter how difficult it is, to talk to the person. If the person doesn't understand then it is not your problem. It is your problem only if you bottle up your hurt. Say it and move on, without worrying about the outcome. Because let's agree, worry about these things will take us nowhere.

I am pretty bad at relationships myself. I am being very candid about it because everybody who knows me, knows that. And when I say relationships, I mean even friendships. I get hurt very easily. And I seldom talk about it. If I get hurt, I just move away and isolate myself. But revenge? No. I don't seek revenge. What I do end up doing is, annoy the person by becoming extremely silent and closed!

I tell you, it's not done. (I told myself that) So, the point is, once you are hurt by your friend or lover or colleague, for some of us, things may change forever. We may not be the same friends anymore, we may stop sharing secrets, we may start doubting a little, we may become indifferent and so on. I know I cannot change overnight, and trust me, you CAN'T! So I decided to do this one thing - tell the person I was hurt. And then move on.

The sense of peace you get when you tell someone they hurt you and you didn't like cannot be expressed. Let's try it in our lives and see how life turns out for us!

:)