Stinkers and how to react to them

It's no big deal receiving stinkers from your reporting authorities at work. But whether or not you choose to react to them and how you react is a big deal.

Sometimes, these stinkers can really stink, I mean, really really make you feel like you're an absolute piece of trash, good for nothing sloth, undeserving of your place in the company. 

But no matter how stinky and soul-crushing that might sound, you have to remember that the person typing that from the other end is just a human being. 

I know it is difficult to see it from that angle. Because he/she just called you a $&*&$^%#~@!@! and ridiculed you, obviously they look like Lucifer's first cousin and you absolutely wish they were dead. But, if we try and be calm (may be for 2 minutes) that murderous feeling will probably die down. And don't immediately go on a "begging for forgiveness" spree, typing 'SORRY' and 'APOLOGIES' in every sentence, making the email look like all the 'sorries' and 'apologies' and just barfed all over your screen. Hold on to that also. 

Do's:

If you receive stinkers at work, read the email once and close the screen.

Open it again after a minute or two and re-read it. Think of it as your reading comprehension exercise. 

Summarize the content into one or two simple lines. 

Analyze - what went wrong? Who is wrong? What could have been done? What alternate solutions can you suggest? How can you make things better? Do you need to apologize? What is the relevant assurance you can provide?

[don't be biased and side yourself] 

[Don't try to look for someone to transfer the blame onto.]

[Remember it is the situation that has triggered your boss's frustration. Not YOU!]

Jot down your findings. 

Read your findings and what according to you could have been done to have avoided this situation. 

Compose an email with this and add appropriate apology notes where required and send it across. 

Don't:

Hurl abuses at your boss

Discuss this with your friends at work

Ignore the email

Respond back in curt language

Blame others/team

Be embarrassed to apologize if wrong 

Bad mouth boss over lunch 

Bad mouth boss in general 

Scoff at people randomly just because you are being scoffed at

Initiate exit

Stinkers are part and parcel of work culture and the sooner we learn to embrace them (I know it hurts) we will be able to grow as better professionals.

They are like those annoying neighbours who come home to gossip. You have to welcome them in and give them tea & snacks.