Monday, February 23, 2009

Morning with ARR

First things first: Sir, please accept my hearty congratulations.

Yaah, like he's going to read it. Well! Still!

I was studying mass communication models, when I saw him holding that golden curvy beauty in his hands.
Oh Yes! We've made it, my heart jumped. No one deserves it more than you man. You're the best.
Tiny tears taking shape.

Voices at the back: Oh Great! Rahman is THE man. But what's so great about the music in this movie?
T.V guy: Yes. Not great. Not great at all.
Student: Yes! Not all that great. I don't seem to attach to it at all. Yuvraaj sounds much better!

Rahman: Ellam Pugazhum Iraivanukkey.
(All glory to God)

Voices: Did you hear that? He spoke in Tamil!
Catching up: Yes. He did. But don't be so excited about it because it might sound like you're insecure or something.
Voices: No. See it IS a big deal! How many people do that?
Mumble: Proud day for Tamilians huh?
T.V Guy: Say India.
Mumble: Yeah when we win Oscars we are India. When we make a mistake, we are Tamilians.

Closing the book: Yes. You're right. Not many do that. Especially in a world where some people even feel ashamed to call themselves Tamil speaking.
Voices: Yes. They fear isolation. They think it's got to do with backward class or color or the language itself. Chi.
Opening the book: OMG. I can use this to explain the Spiral of Silence.
Voices: The Spiral of what?
Recollecting: The Spiral of Silence. Some people tend to remain silent when they feel that their views are in the minority, for fear of isolation.
Voices: Full marks. Good.

All eyes on T.V: Great. We finally got an Oscar. But wish it was for an Indian movie.
T.V Guy: Well it is about India. Slums and all.
Glaring woman: Well what do you expect the slave master to see?
T.V Guy: Slave master?
Glaring Woman: The British. Who else? 'Oh let's go to India, the SLUM country.' They only see beggars and slums or what?
T.V Guy: You know slave master sounds so funny.
Pretending student: Ya. But makes sense tho. We were slaves. They were the masters. Sigh.
T.V Guy: Ok leave that. I don't think the music's great. ARR should have won the Oscars years back. Na?
All: Absolutely.

Getting up: Ya like for RDB or something. Oh, for Ayutha Ezhuthu (Yuva) or Lagaan too. Cha. He should have got the Oscars long back. Stupid hypocrites, them Whites.
T.V Guy: No stereotypes.
Walking away: Oh yes. No stereotypes. I'll remember that. But I want to be like ARR. Want to acknowledge my tongue in front of scores of people who don't even understand the language.
Mum: Want to be like ARR it seems. Go dust your keyboard first. Sorry, go keyboard the DUST.

Me: Let's look at News Diffusion model.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

If I was God...

I highly doubt the possibility of the same happening becos then the world would be filled with all 'fake' good people, I'm a sucker at judgments.

I'm anyway gonna post this assuming someone made a mistake of giving me the choice.

I was made to think on this since class 9. Back then I used to listen to the radio at nights, that's when they'd play English songs. Not that I was a fan or anything but I didn't have anything else to do. Besides, I particularly liked one RJ who had the most amazing voice. The show encouraged callers who'd dial in and then were asked to answer questions just to add the 'glitter.'
I dialed in one day. And 'that' man answered my call. My heart skipped a beat. The question that day was, 'If you were God for a day...'
I can't believe I said what I said.
'I'd become a guy and see what it feels like to be one.' ?!!??!!
See I assumed when I become God I'd still be a 'girl.'
That guy just said, 'Oh hmm.' He must have thought, 'where do these people come from?'

Today I want to give it some serious thought.

10 things I would do if I was God:

1. Not have too many planets. I don't want kids to study 'My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets.' It'd just be, I know there's only one planet and no one need show it to me.
2. I'd name the sole planet 'Life' and trademark it.
3. Wipe away headaches.
4. Come and live on 'life' and not set up a drama by proclaiming I'm in heaven and that you have to die in order to see me. There's no heaven or good or bad associated with it. You can see me whenever you want to. You probably have to take an appointment though.
5. I won't send you to hell if you do something bad. There's no hell. I'll just let your parents slap you.
6. You won't be allowed to hit your parents back. Hah! How's that?
7. You won't have to worry about weight because while I am your God nobody puts on any unwanted weight. Nobody gets that hungry in our world. And even if you do, you always crap all the excess fat!
8. I will not allow girls and boys fighting for things like pink is cool or machines rock bleh bleh. Everyone respects the other person's opinion.
9. I will make sure everybody understands everything, be it science, commerce or anything. No one remains in the dark or be a subject of ridicule or be termed indifferent or ignorant.
10. If there's one orphan there will be one childless parent, so they can meet and set up their world. So, in our world there won't be any orphanages.
11. If a beloved leaves you I won't let you cry so much that you become miserable. You'll always have me.
12. There's no limit to creativity in our world. Absolutely.
Like there's no limit to just keeping my points to 10.
13. You can go for walks alone at night. There's no ghost/ rapist/murderer/ psycho. I straightened the heads.
14. All competitions will be healthy. Any foul play is subjected to Point 5.
15. You won't worship me. We are friends. We have no religion.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What's all this rubbish they taught me?

Rock-a-bye baby
on the tree top,
when the wind blows
the cradle will rock,
when the bough breaks
the cradle will fall,
down will come baby,
cradle and all.

Can you get more negative?

Why didn't they just tell us the baby and the cradle was safe all through. And who leaves a baby on the tree top anyway?

Then we have our dear Humpty, who's only sitting on a wall and chilling. But they tell us,

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the King's horses
And all the king's men.
Cannot put Humpty Dumpty
Together again.

Why? Why all the negativeness?

They don't spare dear Jack and Jill who simply go up the hill to fetch some water... but NO, They throw them down too.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

Then, they even threw us all down...

Ring-a-ring-a-roses,
A pocket full of posies;
Hush! hush! hush! hush!
We're all tumbled down.

Here's what people think of the poem!


I ask why?

Why didn't the baby just sleep on his mother's lap?
Why didn't humpty have a breezy evening and safely get back home?
Why didn't Jack and Jill bring back the water safely?
Why did we all 'tumble down' when playing?

Why?

They should seriously write Positive stuff.


You get the picture.

I can't believe I was taught all this!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

When Naaz met Dev - Part 3

At least I thought he was smiling. He was still glaring at me.

'Why are you glaring at me?
'
"Why shouldn't I?"
'You make me uncomfortable...'
"You made me nervous"
'I did? When?'
"By standing right in front of my eyes"
'It was not intentional plus you were not even looking at me'
"I did it on purpose... whenever I looked at you I felt funny"
'Oh'
"Yes"

"Naaz?"
'Huh?'
"Dev has been trying to tell you something for the past 2 mins, where have you been madam?"
'Huh? what?'
"Are you OK Naaz?"
'Yes yes. Yes I am.'
"Spaced out again?" he asked.
'Yes kinda.'
"How did you like our performance?"
'Oh it was awesome. You play the guitar so well'
"Thank you."

It was so weird. Just sometime back Dev and I were having a conversation. But here he was talking to me as though nothing had happened.

I must be mad. Mental dialoguing. That's normal!

"What say Naaz if we go and grab a bite?"
'I want to watch the rest of the show.'
What the hell did I just say?
"As you wish."
'Owwwwwwwwwwwwww' Bhargavi pinched me hard.
"Just what do you think you're doing? Why don't you go with him?"
People were looking at me and I pretended to enjoy the show. To cover it all up I yelled again, to make people believe I was actually cheering the band.
"What a loser!"
I looked at Dev. He was simply listening to the music and composing mental notes and playing it on his invisible guitar.
'Dev, let's get something to eat.'
"Are you sure?"
'Yes.'
"Come lets go" jumped Bhargavi.
'Why are you coming?'
"I'm sorry is this a date? And I'll get lost here you fool."

We walked in silence. As though Dev had just proposed. And I had just said yes.

WTH. It was food after all. I was going to gorge on it once I saw it. I'd forget his very existence at that moment.

I prayed I don't hog and spoil my reputation.

"Frankie?" He asked
'No I'm dieting.'
"Whoa!" Dev and Bhargavi cried in unison.
'Yah. What's the big deal. I'm trying to lose some weight.'
"Yah right. You do have a fat... ego!" Bhargavi screamed. "Do they have diets for all this?"
GRRRRR
"Ok chill. What do you want to eat Naaz" Dev spoke softly.
'I'll have some juice. Pome'
"I'll get it. Bhargavi get me one chicken tikka frankie please while I get Naaz her drink."
"I'll do that."
She started walking up to the counter but I stopped her.
'I'll get it for him.'
"Oh the Loves!"
'BLAH BLAH.'
One chicken tikka frankie please.

He was frying the thin egg paranthas on the pan. The yummy aroma of onions and chilli and chicken tikka applied on the fried parantha and rolled into the delicacy just made my mouth water.

"Ah Naaz, here's your drink."
'And here's your frankie'
"Thanks a lot!"
'No thank you. We're friends.'
"Oh the philosophy!"
I blushed.

"I've never tried Pome juice ever." Dev spoke.
'Ah you must try. It's good.' I said sipping.
"Ok." and he looked away.
Bhargavi gave me the looks.
What?
Learn to share!
Ohhhh!
Ohhhhhhhhh.
'Erm, do you want a sip?'
"I don't mind." He said and took a sip.

He took a sip. From my straw. The very same straw.

At this point I should have probably felt happy or funny or get that really weird feeling you usually get.
But I did the most silliest and stupidest thing any girl would do, and I had to suffer the consequence of my action for a long time to come.

I threw the straw.