Plain pain

There is no one in this world who hasn't undergone pain. Pain in its myriad forms - family, education, beliefs, choices... Some of us simply soak ourselves in pain as it comes, living in futile hope, that pain itself will redeem.

Sometimes, pain leads to sweet redemption. Life would be bland without pain.

I've discovered that pain has a lot more on offer than itself. It unfolds life. And the truth. Often, bitter experiences in life is what 'mould' us, into who we are. Our perspective becomes less foggy. I think its pain that motivates us to fight back, and turn us into brave people.

It's a beautiful thing. You've not lived life if you've not experienced pain. Pain is what makes the effort worth it. We've all heard the saying - there's no gain without pain. It's actually true. It is pain that brings us the fruit at the end of all that toil and effort. If there's no pain in what we do, how do we come to senses and the realization that we're actually doing it?

We're humans. And emotions define us. If in pain you smile, you're a winner. If in pain you complain, you've already lost the battle.

Take pain as it comes. And move on.

There's a wall poster in my room that reads - The people who get places are the ones who keep moving.

So true.

I fail.

sometimes I fail to understand the system... on one hand she says, this was designed for all to learn. I want everybody to do this and learn. Out of mistake you learn. And on the other hand she summons 'her' and tells her, "I don't trust others to do a good job, so you do this piece of work. I don't want anybody making a mistake in this regard."

Seriously. I fail to understand.

Priceless Paani Puri

***The Cane and Cee series - PART 3***

I was getting back home from work in my personal auto rickshaw.

"Madam, we can't take the usual route. Nungambakkam is blocked. I'll take you via Pantheon."

'Uh uh ok ok'

As we crossed Greams Road, my eyes caught the attention of the various food joints and then there was this sudden hunger pang in me. I told myself, a BIG no, but it just wouldn't go. I had to eat something. I scanned my eyes quickly and found a chaat stop.

'Stop Selva anna. Take U turn please.'

"Ayyoo why madam?"

'please Selva anna*... I want to eat Paani* Puri.'

"Paani Puri means what madam?"

'i'll buy one for you, you please take the U turn'

"Ok madam" he spoke quickly as he zoomed past other vehicles and stood in line for the U turn.

Selva anna was my auto rickshaw driver since my college days. He knew everything about my college life and now he was a significant part of my work life too. My day begins with a missed call from selva, which means he is asking me if he should bring the auto at the usual regular time. If I return his missed call once, I mean to say yes. But if I give him 2 missed calls, it means I am taking an off.

Selva anna took the U turn and I quickly jumped off the auto.

'Get down anna, let's eat Paani Puri'

"No madam, this is a no parking area, you buy one parcel for me ok? I will park the auto little further down the road, you give missed call, I will come"

'Ok anna'

There were about 15 hungry men and women and about 5 kids around the simple Chaat seller's cart. The puri was stacked in a large steel container and the paani, one sweet paani and one spicy paani were stocked in large clay pots. A container with mashed potato, channa, papad, masala caught my eye and instantly my mouth watered.

'anna oru* plate Paani Puri'

Quickly he took one crispy puri, made a hole in it, stuffed it with potato, channa, masal, dipped it in the spicy and sweet paani and gave it to me in a small cup. With gleeful eyes, I took the puri and opened my mouth, when halfway through its journey to my mouth, it broke into two pieces and the paani fell down into my cup leaving me with one piece of the puri and messy hands.

And this was not all. Suddenly, this guy from nowhere comes forward to help me eat the puri. I looked at him and moved away.

Dude who is he to teach me how to eat a paani puri? I thought

"Miss, the minute you get the puri, you don't wait, you just stuff it into your mouth. The longer it stays in your plate, the soggier it becomes.. blah blah blah blah... bloo bloo bloo... more blah blah blah...more bloo bloo bloo..."

He just went on and on and on

"Ok, now let's do it again. anna one here please" he spoke to the chaat guy

The chaat guy performed his magic once again and produced a beauty of a puri

"C'mon Miss, you can do it"

'Oh k chuck this crack pot, let me try eating the puri and save my esteem by doing it the right way' I spoke to myself

The minute I got the Puri, I didn't think once about anybody or anything... I opened my mouth, to resemble a hippopotamus yawning and pushed the puri in through.

The flavors created music in my mouth. Loud bangs, soft soothing, then a sudden splurge of an orchestra.

I waited for the judgement.

"Yes you did it. anna, bring it on"

The chaat guy kept providing me with the wonderful puris and I kept stuffing it into my mouth. I would have eaten about 10! and I decided to stop.

'ENOUGH anna' I announced victoriously

"I'm Krishna" my paani puri guru spoke

'I'm Cee'

"Cee?"

'Yeah Cee, any problem?'

"No no, not at all. Do you come here often?" he asked

'hmm... no.. not often'

"Oh, well I come here once a week"

'Ok'

**long pause**

'Well, I gotta go' I claimed, as I took my phone to give Selva anna a missed call.

"Well..."

'Huh?'

"Never mind"

'Oh... Oh... Thank you Krishna!'

"Ha ha... You are welcome Cee" He smiled widely

'Ok then. Bye bye.'

Selva anna had arrived. I got in and we quickly made our way home.

In the auto, I thought to myself, that I actually liked that guy Krishna.

'Selva anna, tomorrow also same time. Bye'

"bye bye madam. And you forgot my parcel."

'I'm so sorry anna. Tomorrow I will surely get you one ok?'

"Ok madam. Bye"

So tomorrow I will go to the chaat stop. Let me see if I meet Krishna again.

*anna = brother, in tamil

*oru = one, in tamil

*paani = water, in hindi

Cane opens the file

***The Cane and Cee series - PART 2***

**I waited impatiently for my doom as Cane opened the file**

Cane opened the file and just as he did, his phone rang.

Whew! I sighed in joy.

But my joy didn't last long. Cane started browsing through the documents as he was talking on the phone. But he did it in the most annoying manner. He closed the file, opened the file. closed it, opened it.

Every time he opened the file my heart shifted to my mouth, and every time he closed it, it went back in to wherever it was. He kept it doing it so much, that I sincerely prayed his phone conversation would end. I'd rather actually die than anticipating whether I will really die or not.

After a tense 10 mins his conversation came to an end.

He looked at me and smiled and said, "Sorry Cee, let's get back to work"

'Yes please get your gun ready' I smiled nervously

He skimmed through the documents one by one. Each time looking at me and looking back into the file. He closed the file and stared at me.

I stared back at him. He didn't blink once. I was shivering in fear. I looked down on the floor and studied the mosaic pattern. I slowly looked up and the same fixed frozen stare. His stare was enough to kill me.

'I'm sorry Sir.' I spoke in utmost fear

"You better be."

Hmmm... am I supposed to say anything more? apologize more?

"I don't have such a distorted smile Cee. Here, look at this." He showed the cartoon I drew of him.

ermm..

My jaw dropped.

"Go draw better cartoons. Go"

Cane and Cee

***The Cane and Cee series - PART 1***

"Cee get that work done NOW! I want it on my table in 10 mins"

'Yes. Oh Yes Sir' making imaginary sounds in the head

I sit here and do all the work, and the least I can expect is a smile? Leave the friendly hand shake he gives to everybody else. And the shiny certificates the rest of them get for having 'slogged.'

humph.

I left the file on the table and quietly tip-toed out of Cane's room.

We called him Cane becos sometimes he would lash out his tongue so hard it hurt real bad.

Cane promptly stopped me, and dragged me into his room.

"Now, Cee let us sit and analyse."

ANALYSE?!!!!!!

I tore my hair in mourning. An analysis of my work would mean outright dissection of every tiny bit of information I keyed into those documents.

"Sit down Cee"

As I sat down in absolute disagreement, I saw the file on Can'e table.

'WHAT???? I am sure to be hanged' I thought to myself. I almost screamed out loud.

That file had all the cartoons I had made of Cane. Cane doing his grumpy antics, he blasting us, he making monkeys faces and all things nasty about him.

That file was a fire cracker waiting to burst!

'Cane will KILL me. I didn't even get to say a decent goodbye to the other brats'

I waited impatiently for my doom as Cane opened the file.

my dear potato friend

you've been with me all through my graduation days...

when J was scribbling letters and numerals to form ammonia and acids

whose names I barely remember now

you were there...

when T called the test tube a testis.. you were there

oh potato friend... you even made RS realize I was not fit to do chemistry

but fine arts

or physics

or anything else..

you always stood up for me dear potato friend...

you are my mirror image

slightly skewed

but still.

This is a tribute to you.

This is how I look now

(and dear friends... No, I'm not drunk!)

Hey control freak...

not you.

Someone called me and few others one. and in my tiny head, this is how I reacted " HA HA HA HA HA"

No! I don't laugh because I'm arrogant. I laugh because it's true! at least, to some extent.

Ha ha ha.

(I must stop. Really!)

a rainbow

Ive seen a rainbow exactly 5 times in my life... you will agree that it's a very beautiful sight indeed... the day a rainbow appears, I know I love the weather outside. However, I don't know if I'm color blind, or otherwise, I've seen only three colors on it... red, blue and yellow... and most times the yellow, I think, was the tint of the sunlight... but I've loved rainbows...

currently my life is in a rainbow phase, my rainbow,... pleasant weather and mood but occasional bursts of these colors that seem to play and draw impressions... sometimes red when things don't go right and my patience is tested... sometimes blue when I'm sad and depressed and yellow when I laugh... and sometimes all three...

but whatever, my life is pretty beautiful now... (I'm usually not this positive) of course there are ups and downs, but total score= excellent!

2 months into 2010

and I don have THE time :(