Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I'm feeling blah...


My tee reads I'm feeling lucky...but I'm actually feeling blah!
Blah is when you have thoughts piling at the back of your head...actually a clutter of thoughts...
and you have no idea what to say or do...
the thoughts disturb you and tire you...
I'm feeling so blah!
I'm listening to 'rumors' and I've been listening to it all morning...
Every time I listen to this song I can only relate myself to these lines:
'I just need to free my mind...Can you please respect my privacy? Why can't they let me live.'

Why can't they let me live? I think I carry some sign on my forehead that reads 'Kill me.'
I need to free my mind...my mind lives in this cage called perpetual confusion.
I must bring break it open...But ...I'm feeling so blah!

The blah-ness has taken total control of my head and body...I can't even finish this post appropriately...

So blah!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Busy-ness...


Everybody is busy...the current trend among all of us...for no rhyme and reason people want to look busy and occupied...even if they are only checking out online profiles, or chatting or watching videos!

I'm happy at least God is not busy...considering the amount of work he has to do everyday!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

The mail...

I was so upset and dull and I desperately wanted to talk to God...rather I wanted to write to him...
I don't know why but I ended up writing to Paulo Coelho... I don't know what I wrote but I'm sure I wrote everything my heart wanted to speak...
I wrote a letter to Paulo Coelho!
I must be mad and I completely forgot about it!
The very next day my mail box reads a new incoming message from 'Paulo Coelho.'

Dear Hepsiba,

Thank you for your kind email.

Always follow your dreams and fight for them with faith.

A Warrior takes every opportunity to teach himself.

It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life
interesting.

The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

Paulo Coelho

He wrote back...and it felt like God wrote back...he must have...

in fact 'he has.'

I can't stop crying out of joy...Who would expect him to write back to an ordinary girl's painful mail?

Monday, September 3, 2007

Opportunity lost...Smile regained

It is so difficult to give someone an opportunity...an opportunity that could change a person from being mediocre to becoming a star...
But
Sometimes opportunities that come in 'satisfaction guaranteed' or 'You are sure to become succesful' packages are deceptive...
Some opportunities come in ugly disguises but turn out be most fulfilling in terms of success...
There was once a boy who was uneducated, unemployed and spent days in hunger yet did not want to beg
He went into a temple and found that the temple required someone to ring the bell...he thought he would make a wonderful bell-boy. He asked the concerned person. The boy was sure he would fit the role and his heart filled with joy. But he was rejected on grounds that he was uneducated. He cried and kept crying all day long.
After he cried out his pain, he remained quiet for sometime and decided he would pedal goods from house to house and in this way he would earn enough money to buy himself some food. He started selling flowers. People would ask him to buy goods for them from neighboring shops and he would deliver them back home. With the money he earned he opened a mobile shop; on cycle. He soon opened a small shop in his village selling all sorts of amenities. His business picked up and he kept growing. At one point in time, he owned a chain of retail stores and was a leading business man. He was extremely famous, earned lot of respect and once during an interview someone exclaimed "You have grown so much without education. I can imagine how successful you would have been, had you studied."
With a big smile he replied, "I would have been a bell-boy."

The boy had an opportunity to ring the bell at the temple and earn money but he was not given that opportunity. And thank goodness for that!

Lot of us go through this in our lives. I have not been given so many opportunities. They could not feel the pain I went through. They could not see my tears...They could not see that my heart bled...they wanted some 'education.' Some superficial qualification. They failed to see the heart's yearning to learn. But...I know these are opportunities that ultimately do not give you any satisfaction or joy.

I don't know if this post is well written and I don't care because when I started writing this, I was crying uncontrollably but now I am smiling.

And that is what matters.