Lunch with Ajith

"Hey Naaz, how have you been? Possible to meet you sometime? Let me know" Ajith texted me
I messaged him back.
'Sure, Ajith. Let me know when and where.'
"Lunch, today?" He replied quickly
'Okay, let me know where and I'll be there' I replied back

I had been ignoring Ajith for a long time and thought it was unfair. Even if I did continue to ignore me, he wouldn't stop texting me or keeping in touch with me.
One lunch wouldn't hurt. I thought.

"Let's go to Pesto. 1:30 pm" he replied
'Sure, I'll meet you there.

Ajith was Dev's younger sibling. Basically, Ajith and I were of the same age. But somehow, he always appeared to be less mature than me. Or may be I was too mature for my age. I found Ajith's attitude very casual. He simply cracked jokes, texted me incessantly, spoke too fast. I didn't find him attractive, didn't thinik he was funny and sometimes I thought he was slightly cracked.
Let me see how he eats. I thought

I took a rickshaw to the restaurant. These rickshaw guys drive me crazy all the time. It's almost like they know I hate them and they gladly reciprocate the hatred towards me.
Pesto was like a 9 km drive from where I lived and the rickshaw charged me 180 bucks. I didn't complain because I wanted to keep my mind free from all negative energy. I wanted to think.

****
"Anna, we need to get to Adyar" Dev spoke to the rickshaw guy
"200 rupees" he demanded
"200? 200? Why are you asking for 200 anna? Adyar is just 20 minutes away" Dev rebutted
"So?" screamed the rickshaw guy "I have to take so many U-turns, there are so many diversions, plus this is peak time. Come for 200 or go"
"Ya, we'll go" proclaimed, Dev. "Let's walk, Naaz"
All the while, I was hoping Dev would just say yes to the rickshaw guy. I didn't want to walk.
'Erhm, let's look for another auto na, Dev' I sweetly told him
"No, all of them are like this. Besides, walking is good for us. The weather is not so bad" he assured me

I looked up at the sky and I almost went blind. The sun was out in full glory and as if smirking at me, it tickled my eyes. I surrendered to Dev and the Sun.

"These auto guys are notorious." Dev continued
'Yeah, Dev. They are. Let them be. Why don't be take the bus?" I asked in futile hopes
"Naaz! Let's walk and let's talk"
'Ok, but I don't talk when I walk.'
"Why not?"
'Because that's how I'm trained.'
"Trained?"
'Yeah. In the gym. I walk on the treadmill and I'm not supposed to talk.'
"Ha ha ha Naaz. Man, you are such a lazy girl."
I blushed in embarrassment
"Man, we're going to be really hungry after this walk."
'I hope it rains.'
"That would be awesome. Let's hope so!"
We walked some distance and I was already feeling exhausted.
'Dev, what are your plans in life?'
"Hmmm, I haven't given it much thought, Naaz. Why do you ask?"
'I just like to know what people's aspirations are like.'
"Really? What's yours?"
'I don't know.'
"Are you looking for an inspiration? ha ha ha"
'No. Not like that. I'm happy now and that's all that matter for the moment.'
"Good, good. I may be going abroad for my post graduation."
'Oh.'
I didn't say anything. Dev was 2 years senior to me. He had one year to go and then he would fly away. Just like that.
"What? That's your reaction? Oh?"
'What do you want me to say then?'
"All the best?"
'All the best, Dev' I smiled
"You're not happy, are you?"
'Of course I'm happy for you Dev'
"Then why do you sound dull?"
'Nothing.'
"Tell me"
'Nothing'
"No, tell me"
'I will miss you'
"ha ha ha. That's all? and you're upset?"
'Ok, I won't miss you. But don't be so mean.'
"Why will you miss me. Come with me"
'WHAT?'
"You also come to do your PG abroad"
My heart skipped a million beats. Just imagining being in the same place with Dev was killing me in joy. Such a weird feeling love is. I was crazy about Dev and I think he knew.
'Let's see, Dev.'
"Ok, Naaz." He smiled
'Ok, Dev' I mocked him
 We both laughed.

****
"Madam, this is the place no?" The autorickshaw guy spoke
'Ah, yes. Thanks.' I got down and noticed Ajith was waiting for me
"Hey Naaz! Good to see" He extended his hands
'Good to see you too, Ajith' I shook his hands
"Our table is ready. Let's go."
We sat down and the waiter brought the menu cards. Ajith ordered for a bottle of water and he let me read the menu in peace. I took my own time to understand what was on the card.

"I really like this place, Naaz" he interrupted
'Do you come here often?' I asked him
"I've come here with my office colleagues. The food is really good."
'Oh alright.' I placed the menu card on the table
"So, what will you have?"
'Since you've already been here, I thought I should let you decide. I am good with anything.'
"Wow. That's quite a task." He sighed
He ordered a Basil Tortellini soup to being with.
"Thanks for coming, Naaz. I had my doubts. You hardly reply to my texts."
'I know. I just don't text that much.'
"How's work?"
'Not bad. But I'm in no mood to discuss it'
"I understand. ha ha"
He laughed just like Dev. I ignored it.
A little baby girl in the adjacent table was seated on her baby seat and was playing with her food.  She looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back and made funny faces at her. She laughed and clapped her hands.
"Hey, she seems to like you" Ajith spoke
'I'm good with kids. I can easily make funny faces'
"It's cute"
'Huh?'
"The baby"
'Hmmm, yeah' I ignored his last comment
"Let me see if I can solve this puzzle" Ajith announced as he got busy with finishing the puzzle on our table mats
For the first time, I took a good look at Ajith. I had seen him a couple of times, but I never took the trouble to notice how he looked, his features, his hair, nothing. It was none of my business.
He was tall, very tall, lean and dark. He had a weird smile. When he smiled, his teeth on his right extreme would jut out. It was cute but weird cute. He had a rather long nose. He had thick black hair and sported a french beard. One cannot miss his great sense of dressing. I should say, he was dressed to kill.
"Ah, done' He looked up
I quickly looked away, as if I was never looking at him in the first place.
'Oh, good good.' I congratulated him
The waiter brought our soup. It was steaming hot and I was getting hunry.
I ate my soup silently.
When I looked up, Ajith was looking at me.


"Where is Dev, Naaz?" He asked me.

That's when I knew, all this while, Ajith didn't want to tell me anything about Dev.
He wanted to know something about Dev.

Ajith and Naaz meet

Saturday, 10:00 AM and I was wide awake. A time when I'm usually in bed, sleeping like a log. In fact, there are times, my mum has thought I was dead. I sleep like that.
I was up since 6:00 in the morning, wondering why Ajith wanted to meet me.
I wore my faded blue jeans and a white shirt. Tied my hair into a ponytail and looked myself in the mirror. I looked miserable but I didn't care. I wasn't particularly interested in meeting Ajith. I was rather skeptical about him bringing Dev into our conversation. I closed the door behind me, prepared for whatever was waiting for me outside.
Why on earth would anybody want to meet at Topaz? I thought.
Topaz was a new hangout for hookah enthusiasts and for solitary readers. It was old house, renovated to give a vintage feel to the ambiance. Complete with creepers, rustic fans and swings, the place was a steal away from the buzz of the city. But it is an expensive affair nonetheless, to sip a coffee in there, one'll have to shell out Rs. 115. Gasp. I can buy myself a whole meal with that money.
I walked into the garden and seated myself on the swing. It creaked when I sat on it.
'Doesn't matter.' I thought to myself and continued swinging.
My phone beeped.
Hi Naaz... I'll be there in ten mins. Just on my way. 
I did not reply. Let him come.
The waiter came in and asked me if I wanted something. I asked him to hold on.
Just then Ajith greeted me.
'I thought you said ten mins' I exclaimed, not expecting him to walk in like that.
"Yeah... well, I wanted to surprise you"
'What's there to surprise in this' I was irritated.
"Ok. It backfired. So, how long have you been waiting here Naaz?"
'10 mins may be...'
"Sorry to have kept you waiting..."
'That's OK.' I cut him short. Honestly, I was not in a very chatty mood that morning. My mind was occupied by Dev.
Ajith sat down next to me on the swing. It creaked even louder.
I got up and walked up to the next table that was free. I couldn't risk getting embarrassed. Ajith joined me shortly.
"Guess, these swings are not meant for two people."
'Yeah, may be they are meant for pigeons'
He laughed like he had never laughed in his life. Like a maniac. Now he was beginning to irritate me more.
'Ajith, I'll be honest with you. I want to know why you wanted to meet me. Please tell me before I lose my patience.'
"Naaz. I have been texting you everyday, hoping you'd reply. You seldom do. I just wanted to meet you in person."
'That's all?'
"Are you expecting me to say something?"
'Huh?'
"Coffee?"
'Ok.' I looked away.
He waved at the waiter and ordered two coffees.
"How's work?"
'What do you do Ajith?' I asked him curtly.
"Wow! Well, I'm an engineer. I work with L&T."
'Oh...' I sighed
"Sad life I know"
'I never said that'
"The sigh speaks volumes"
'What do you do on weekends?'
"Nothing much, I catch up with friends. It's at the movies mostly. What about you?"
'What's taking the coffee so long?'
"Naaz, I know. Here see this."
He stretched out a small piece of paper towards me.
I looked at him and then the paper and then again at him.
'What's that?' I asked him rather suspiciously.
"A love letter?" He smirked
'WHAT?' I squealed.
"No. Relax! Goodness, you freaked me out"
'What the hell is that Ajith?' I was now irritated to the utmost core that I wanted to tear him into pieces.
"I want you to tell me that Naaz."

I simply stared at him. The coffee arrived. The waiter placed it on the table and left to attend to other hungry souls. Hardly any at that time. I took a sip and got up.


"I found this in Dev's desk. It's a song." He handed the piece of paper to me.
I took a look at it. Folded it and tucked it away.
"May be it's for you"
My eyes welled up.
"Naaz..." Ajith called for me.
I heard him but I was already gone. I was no longer there. I just wanted to read that song.

The song that my Dev had written for me.

Happy Meeting

"Naaz, Naaz, Naaz" Dev kept chanting over the phone

'Yes, Dev. What do you want?' I asked him slowly.

"Your name. It has a beautiful sound to it." 

I was blushing on the other end, but didn't want to accept it.

'Please Dev, I don't like it when people make fun of my name'

"I WAS NOT making fun of your name, Naaz! Why would you think that?" He asked concerned

I was smiling here, Dev didn't know.

'I'm kidding. And thanks. So what plans for today?'

"You tell me" he asked me lovingly

Over here, I was flying over the clouds. Dev asking me what my plans were. Such bliss.

'Let's go to the beach?'

"Done. I'll pick you up at 4:00 pm"

'No, I'll come on my own. See you.'

I was feeling exceptionally weird today. Something in our tone had changed. Were we falling in love? I was already in love with him. In a good way. There were so many questions in my mind. 

I got dressed and went to the beach.  I sat down in the spot we usually haunt and started making a circle around me, like demarcating an area for Dev and me to sit. 

It was 3:55 pm and I looked back to see if Dev was anywhere around. I saw him walking towards me. We were such sincere timekeepers!

Huffing and puffing after walking on the bumpy shore, Dev sat next to me, inside the little circle I had drawn. 

I looked at him and smiled. He smiled back at me. As always, his smile blew me away. 

I looked down at the sand. I realized Dev was still looking at me. 

I slowly tilted my head to look at him and he was staring at me.

'What Dev? Why aren't you saying something?' I broke the awkward silence.

He smirked at me and pulled out a little packet. 

"Here open this."

'What is it?' I asked him

"Open."

It was little white box. Paper box. With a pretty ribbon on it. I untied the ribbon and slowly opened the box. 

'What's this, Dev?' 

"It's been an year already, Naaz!"

'I know!'

"So? Shall we?"

I simply smiled.

'Ok, let's do it together.'

We took out the little chocolate cupcake from the box and shared it together. 

"Happy Friendship day, Naaz. I'm glad we met"

'I'm glad I met you too, Dev.'

Blank

OMG just this morning, I had 3 great posts in mind. I kept re-remembering them throughout my drive to work. As soon as I sat here, I forgot the posts. Like all of them.

Chi. I'm so stupid. I have a phone, I should have made a note. But no, I relied on my brain to store it. I thought I will reprocess it and then we can live happily ever after. But no. I just can't seem to rely on it anymore. It must be the age.

Or. May be, that's how it has always been.

May be I overused it.

Hee hee.

I'm a semma K.D

This is kinda like my confession. Ok world, I confess, I am a BIG K.D 

Hold on, let me search for the full form of K.D

Old Chennai police abbreviation for either "known delinquent", "known depredator" or "known defaulter" or "Known Denotified person".

I have done lot of K.D things. Hmmm... where do I begin? 

When I was in 4th standard, my brother and I devised an evil plan to disturb an aunty we used to hate. Hee hee hee. We used to dial her number and when she picked up, we would play the "Muqala Muqabila" song loudly... hee hee hee. It still cracks me up so much.

When I was in 5th standard, I tied up one small little boy (who is a non-related brother) to a tree for being naughty. Che. I'm such a bully.

When I was in the same 5th standard, I used to play hotch-potch/Pandi with my friends. You know that super game where you draw 8 boxes and throw stones. You have to hop on the boxes and pick up the stone and come back. It's a super duper fun game. You need a smooth stone for the game, otherwise the stone will roll off and not settle on the boxes easily. Before we began our game for that evening, all of us in the colony scattered around to search for smooth stones. I found one, my friends found one for themselves, my brother also found one. There was this little boy in our gang, the same boy whom I tied to the tree, who just couldn't find a stone for himself. I noticed that there was some dried dog shit lying among a pile of stones. I'M SO EVIL. I told him to pick up the dry dog shit because it was smooth! Man, HE DID! Hee hee hee. He kept holding onto it and when his turn came, he threw what he assumed to be a stone and it just powered away.

Sometime, during the same phase of my life, the boy gang in our colony used to bully us by taking up all the space in the colony play area to play cricket. One day, all of us stole their cricket bats and hid it. The next day when they came looking for the bats, they didn't get pissed off that we hid their bats, they got pissed off that we were dancing for 'I'm a barbie girl' in the play area. Nearly 10 girls dancing to that song! ROFL. This is so funny. 

I once conducted a culturals event in my colony. I was the event manager and organized everything. I must have been in 6th standard then. The plan was that everybody pays a small amount, 20 bucks or something, prepares for a dance, song or skit, and brings food from home. The amount was for the gifts. According to my plan, all participants would get gifts so that no one would feel bad. See? I'm a nice girl :) I was so excited about this event, I ran about the entire area, shopped for gifts, planned everything and practiced for my performance. On the day of the event, all the children came out and assembled in the lawn. We all brought along snacks and sweets from home. Our parents were also excited and everybody assembled in their respective balconies to watch the event. They were otherwise not allowed to come :P The event started and everybody participated. I was the judge for all the events and I participated in all the events. Can you imagine? I won the first place in most of the events. LOL. Best bit, everybody agreed. LOL

There was this one time, when my brother and I played a prank on our friends. They were twin brothers and always an easy bait for any bullying. We told them that it was my brother's b'day the next day and that they are invited for the party. Those paavam, naive boys ran back to their homes and informed their mother about it. The next day, we were all playing and these two boys, all dressed up and big gift box in hand, walk towards my house. Seeing them going, my brother and I hid to see what was going to happen. They rang the bell and my mother opened the door. She was shocked to learn that they had come for a b'day party. She was obviously moved because she called them in, gave them juice and snacks and sent them back. They went back home with the gifts. My mother gave a piece of her mind when we got back home. When my brother really celebrated his b'day those boys never came!

When I was in 8th standard, my parents took us to watch The Titanic. I don't think it said 'A' rated movie or anything because a lot of families came to watch the movie with their kids. Everything was going well in the movie, till the painting scene came. My mother, as if by some reflex action quickly turned to look at me. In an equally faster reflex action, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. She was relieved and continued to watch the movie. What she didn't know was, I was actually watching the scene through my closed eyes. Ya, ya, ya, I'm sure you all know how to do that! :P Then things came back to normal until the car scene popped up. Again my mother turned to look at me. This time, I acted even more convincingly, I snored! To give an impression that all through I had been sleep and that I was really sound asleep. She was again relieved. But I saw the entire scene. Just like you all did. Hee hee hee. 

When I was in college, I used to be the first girl in class to shout, "ma'am please ma'am.... please ma'am...." whenever the professor came to take a test. All the other girls would join me in chorus, but I'd take the lead. 

You know, I can go on... :)

I have also done some sweet innocent things like burying a dead cockroach and conducting a funeral procession for it. I assumed that since we are catholics, the insects in our house are also catholics. The coffin was made of the infamous Cheetah matchbox. Sweet no? 

Hmmm... so how was your childhood? Mine was fun, alright! :)

Boss a? Illa Loosu a?

Vadivelu is a funny guy. Or whoever writes his lines, is a funny guy. In any case, this post is not about him. I just stole his line from a movie for my blog title. So I thought I should give some credit.

This post is actually about bosses. And some looosu cases.

Ok may be not bosses.

NOTE: This post is a work of pure fiction. Well, not exactly fiction. Somebody once narrated this to me and I jotted it down, cause I found it funny. If you feel it sounds familiar or is remotely related to somebody you know or if you are trying to think who it is, no need to rake your brains. Just read ahead! :D

There was once a boss, who was a typical loosu case. She would say do this thing, and then send 2 people to spy to see if the person was really doing it or doing something else. She is like this one turtle story I heard somewhere. It is one super semma comedy story. 

3 turtles went out on a trek. (This in itself is a semma comedy line no?) Anyway, so they trekked, and trekked and trekked. Like for a long time they trekked. Then they felt very hungry. So they all sat down to eat, when one of the turtles realized he forgot to bring his food. All became semma angry at his foolishness. And the other two turtles were very strict about sharing food, because they only brought enough food for one. The absent-minded turtle then announced that he was going to go back to get his food and that the other two turtles should not eat while he was away. He made them promise him. They promised and he left. 

The two paavam turtles, waited, waited, waited and waited. 

Still waiting.

Waiting. 

Waiting.

Waiting.

(Ok, I'll stop)

So even after 2 years, the mokkai turtle didn't come back. These paavam turtles sat hungry waiting for him to return. (Yes they waited 2 years without eating; I told you its a story right?) 

Then finally, one brainy turtle said "Hey what da machan, that mokkai payyan will not return. At least let us eat. I am famished." The other agreed and they opened their tiffin boxes to eat. 

Suddenly, they heard a bush moving and they saw their mokkai friend walk towards them. 

He spoke angrily, "I KNEW IT! I knew you guys wouldn't wait for me to return. That's why I stood spying on you for two years, testing you to see if you would really keep your promise"

Ada mokkai payyaley! Nee innum pogalliya? 

Super story no? 

So, that boss was like this only. She used to make people hit their head on the wall; everyday. She would 'delegate' work, and then sit on their back, like vetal on Vikram's back' and go 'noi noi noi noi,' finished a? finished a? show me? finished a? when will you finish? finished a? why is it like? why is it not like that? 

She is one typical case only. 

She would schedule a meeting with somebody and then talk to somebody about how she is an olympic gold medalist, a pilot, a Nobel laureate, a top chef, F1 racer, dancer, actress, singer and ah, yes, a martian! She would claim that she was every damn thing in this universe.

If somebody met a vendor and updated her about the company and she would go "Ya ya, I know... I used to be in this business and all... I know everything." Somebody once met a Radio Jockey and told her about the how they could tap Radio for marketing and she went "Ya ya, I know everything about Radio. I have trained Radio Jockeys and I have been one myself." Somebody asked her, "WOW Really? When? Which Radio Station? What frequency?"

She doesn't like being asked question, because she really can't conjure up stories fast. She needs time. Because, she has no brain. So when somebody asked her these questions, she stammered, drank water, coughed and asked somebody to get out.

Somebody came out of the room and rolled on the floor in joy. Somebody defeated her. 

Somebody worked with her for 3 years and became bald. Also, somebody's head was starting to look like that of Megamind's. It was on the verge of bursting open.

Somebody wrote an article on women achievers of India, to be published in the company magazine. She looked through it, smirked and said "Write an article on prostitutes in India"
Somebody went "Ehhh?"
She said "What? Write an article on prostitutes. They work hard for a living"

Somebody resigned the job immediately!

Boss a? Illa loosu a?