Temper

Over the past few years, I've been controlling my temper consciously. Whenever I get really angry, I just utter a few words to myself and then just erase the episode off my head. On and off, I rant here or update my FB/Twitter/LinkedIn status. One way or the other I vent it out. I have come a long way from the 'screaming and yelling' bit to 'silently walking away' bit. 

Things that anger me are not silly stupid things. They genuinely affect my daily dealings. Like today, one extremely insensitive email really pissed me off. I uttered a few sick words to myself and breathed. Once calm, I sent a nonchalant reply. In reply to my email I got another insensitive email. I just shoved it down my trash bin and walked away to join my colleagues for a training session. I consciously threw the email out of my system (both virtual and physical) and moved on with my tasks. 

But to think, I came back here to talk about it :)

Back at home, I thought to myself, investing that much energy in such petty issues is really uncalled for. I'm reading this book called Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman that talks about how every emotion is controlled in the brain. Interestingly enough, anger triggers excessive blood and a sudden rush of adrenalin to flow down your arms; that's why you feel this urge to grab a tool to hit someone or slap or throw something or just bang your fists against the wall. My! 

Anger is such a powerful emotion. But it shouldn't be manifested. It does no good to the soul. Any activity done is haste and anger bears severe consequences later when the anger subsides. Leaving us with a feeling of guilt and remorse. 

Today, during those tense moments of anger and frustration, I simply breathed heavily. Releasing all the tension off my mind. I never meditate. But I felt an environment of positivity build around me when I did that and my conscious efforts of forgetting the episode relieved me a great deal. 

My control on temper needs more conditioning. Hopefully, as I grow older I will be able to achieve it. May be later in my life, I will explore the possibilities of meditation. For now, the best way to stay cool, I've learnt is to simply ignore. And that's my lesson for today. 

To forget and ignore completely.