Sometimes...

I want to lose my self
Sometimes I want to forget I exist
Sometimes I want to cry like I'm being stabbed
I want to run away from the crowds...
I feel like blurting out my feelings
But that block...
It keeps choking me
Sometimes I ask God to take away the 'Block' out of my life
Sometimes I talk to him loudly and start crying..but then suddenly I start smiling
I see him...but I see the block more often
He spreads his wings over me at night
I get scared and clutch the rosary tightly...
Once again the wings...they pass...this time sensing his presence...
Turning to engulf someone else...
Oh God...I don't want to see the eagle again...
Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to lose
Sometimes I feel someone wants to take away what little I have
The wings...they bring fear
I feel feverish...
Sometimes I laugh out loud like life is beautiful
Then suddenly I am reminded of the wound
The eagle smiles at me
Mocking
I search frantically for him
I see him
Fighting hard to keep the wings away...
But my deliberate efforts deepen the wound and the wings
They come the next night...
Sometimes...
I am possessed...
By good and bad
I can't tell which is what
But
Sometimes...I am not me.