I'm a catholic. Not a noisy one though.

Yesterday, I was sitting in church when suddenly the preacher asked all of us who were suffering inside to stand up and lift our hands, raise our voices in to the sky and say 'heal me, heal me, heal me.. forgive me, forgive me... thank you, thank you, thank you.'

Everybody in the church, except me, got up and started chanting with the preacher. I sat silently. Observing people.

Matthew 6:6-8

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 

Why are we shouting out loud? Why are we literally assuming that God is up in the skies and we have to look up and scream at him to bring him to notice us.
As I was observing, I was trying and interpreting this kind of behavior. The preacher said, stand up and beat your chests and cry. Everybody did so. Seriously? Doing that will redeem us? Then what? We will walk away with the same grudge we had upon our friends, family and that will make us less of a hypocrite?
In my opinion, and I MAY BE SO WRONG, the preacher should encourage us to believe that God lives in our hearts. We do not have to scream and pray. If God dwells in our heart, it is sufficient then if we pray in silence. He will hear us.

I don't care what people think of me and my ways of praying. But I don't agree to this kind of worship where I have to shout, beat my chest, cry and fall on my knees asking for forgiveness. 

Thank goodness!

Kishore sat down on the worn out bench in the park. For 40 years now, every Saturday he and Pushpa would come to park, go for a stroll and then sit down on the bench. Watching children play, teens holding hands and vendors selling small eats.

'Do you want groundnuts?' Kishore asked Pushpa.
'I want Kulfi today.' She told Kishore.
'Kulfi? No no. No sugar for you. The doctor has said strictly said no.' Kishore insisted.
'Doctor has said no. But I want Kulfi.'
'Ayyoo... you and your sweet tooth. When will you listen to you doctor?'
'Never' she laughed.
'Fine. Ok. But we'll share.'

Kishore got up from the bench, walking slowly towards the kulfi guy. He bought one pista kulfi for his wife. He unwrapped the kulfi with his trembling hands.
'Shall I?' asked Pushpa
'No. No.' Kishore announced
'Here... eat and give me one half. Don't eat it fully.'
'Ok' Pushpa smiled and knew she wouldn't share it.

'It's getting really hot these days.' Kishore said, as he wiped away the sweat off Pushpa's forehead.
'Enough, Kishore. What if people see?' Pushpa said shying away.
'My wife is sweating, who else will wipe her forehead? That kulfi fellow huh?' Kishore asked authoritatively.
'You give me that kerchief, I will wipe it myself. Still thinking you are a young chap.'
'Ya, I'm young only.'
'Ayyooo, tell that to your 4 grandchildren.' Pushpa laughed

'Pushpa, where is my Kulfi?'
'I finished it.'
'What?'
'It was too small.' Pushpa smiled like a naughtly imp
'Too small? You are only behaving like a small girl. Still thinking you are the Pushpa sitting in our college canteen and eating ice creams.'
'How much ice cream I used to eat no, Kishore?'
'Ya, all my pocket money I used to spend on your ice creams only.'
'Hee hee hee.' Pushpa laughed

Pushpa and Kishore were married for 40 years. They had 2 lovely children and 4 grandchildren. They were a happy middle class family, content with everything in life. They had a home filled with love and their hearts were filled with peace.

A young couple sat beside Kishore and Pushpa on the adjacent bench. The boy was asking if the girl wanted something to eat. To which she just shrugged her shoulders and said 'Just shut up. Don't try to butter me.'
'I'm not trying to butter you.'
'You first say sorry for what you did.'
'I didn't do anything wrong.'
'You came 1 hour late and we missed the movie. So say sorry.'
'I told you I had to attend the special class in maths. I already flunked last semester.'
'I don't care. I DON'T CARE. SAY SORRY' she started shouting.

Kishore and Pushpa stayed silent. They didn't want to intrude. Every couple should know how to sort issues between themselves. It's best a stranger stays away from giving his opinion unless asked for.

'SAY SORRY. SAY SORRY. SAY SORRY.'
The girl kept screaming on top of her voice. It was good that the park was crowded and her voice was drained in the sounds of children playing, swings swaying, adults laughing at the laughter club. But to Kishore and Pushpa, this noise was unbearable. But they stayed calm. Ignoring the old couple, the boy and girl continued their fight.

Kishore turned and looked at Pushpa. A little smirk on his face. He wrote in her notebook, 'Thank goodness, Pushpa, that we cannot speak. I wouldn't have known how to handle this kind of screaming.'
In reply to which Pushpa wrote, 'I'm sure you would become deaf also!'
To which both of them laughed loudly. Audible only to their hearts. They both got up and slowly walked back.
Thankful and content.

Do you remember...

"Happy Anniversary dear" Anand spoke as he lifted his glass of wine.
Ritu didn't speak a word. He had come back home late from work. Anand had never once come on time for his wedding anniversary celebrations. And this was a special year. Their 10th wedding anniversary. They had been married for 10 years. But they had been in love for the past 20 years. Ritu wanted to spend this anniversary alone with Anand, reminiscing about their life together.
"Do you remember the first day I met you?"
He looked at Ritu, who was not interested in giving him an answer.
"You were leaving home for tuition. Your scooty, your old worn out scooty wouldn't start. I had just moved into the building and as I was parking my bike next to yours I saw you scrambling with the kick-start. I offered to help. But you just shoved me away, as if I were a scum and you left to your tuition walking, your face red with irritation. You looked like a tomato."
Ritu was silent. As if not interested in Anand's small talk. She knew he was just trying to calm her down. She was in no mood to talk to Anand. She just remained silent.
"Do you remember our big fight?" He continued.
"You did not do well in your exam and you did not tell your marks to your parents. Whereas I announced my marks to my parents, who in turn informed your parents and you were caught red handed. How much I laughed that day" Anand laughed loudly at Ritu's plight.
"You called me to the terrace and asked me to explain why I had to announce my marks. We fought and you walked away, determined to never talk to me again in your life. But Ritu, that is the day I fell in love with you. Irony isn't it? To fall in love with the girl who screams at you mercilessly?"
Ritu was getting restless as he narrated this incident. What was Anand's point? That Ritu was always losing her temper and that Anand was the one who compromised? She was annoyed at him. But she sat still.
"Do you remember how you wanted to get drunk on the eve of our wedding?" Anand giggled, his boyish laughs suddenly seemed to surface.
"You asked for vodka and pepsi. I gave you only a tall glass of Pepsi and told you I had vodka mixed in it. How much you laughed and danced that night Ritu. You were not even drunk but you were doing the drunken dance! And you should have seen the look on your face when I finally told you there was no vodka in that glass. You silly girl."
"And Ritu do you remember the first time you made biryani for me?" Anand kept his glass of wine down on the table.
"It tasted nothing like biryani"
"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" he laughed out loud
"But we ate. We ate and laughed. Laughed and ate. We finished the biryani and swore to each that we would always buy biryani from Nawaz uncle's place."

Anand was silent. Humming. Slowly. He turned to look at Ritu. She was calm.

"You are so beautiful, Ritu" Anand spoke
"And you are beautiful because you have given me so many memories to live. Sweet, sour, bitter. We have had a great life together."

Anand took Ritu's picture in his hands. He brushed his fingers on her lips. It was their honeymoon picture. They had gone to Shimla. Ritu had her arms wrapped around Anand. She was trying to keep herself warm from the biting cold. She looked happy and comfortable. Anand looked proud.

"Ritu, how can someone as beautiful as you bring so much pain on herself?" Anand asked slowly
"Do you remember how I cried when you were lying on our bed, lifeless and dead? You don't remember. That was the last time I cried, Ritu. I cried till I dried myself out. I can't cry anymore. Even if I try to, I can't.I drink hoping to cry. But I can't cry"

Anand looked at the empty chair beside him. Ritu's dupatta adorned on it. Anand rocked on his chair. Humming. Slowly.

"Do you love me, Ritu?" He asked the empty chair beside him and dozed off.