When the universe conspired...

It was a sultry afternoon and the class was in no mood for thermodynamics. Leela ma'am walked in and everybody got up to wish her

In unison everybody sang "Good aaaaaaafternooooooooooooooooooooon ma'am"

Soon the rebel in class, Abarna joined the chorus, "no neeeed to take claaaas maaaaa'aaam"

Leela ma'am got pissed off

'Sit down all of you. Or I will get angry.'

Abarna continued, accompanied by a group of other girls "pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee maaaaa'aaam. no need to take claaaas ma'am"

Not knowing it was Abarna who was shouting, Leela ma'am threw a chalk at the class. Everybody ducked so as to not be hit by it 

The padips of the class snickered and spoke aloud "ma'am please take class, ma'am"

Second Law of Thermodynamics: In any cyclic process the entropy will.................

Leela ma'am began writing on the board.

Abarna turned to look at her classmates who by now had given up all hope that Leela ma'am would let them go free this hour.

Leela ma'am wrote a lot of formulas on the board, explained the concepts and turned to see if we were taking down notes.
Abarna just kept staring at the blackboard hoping to fall asleep soon and then suddenly as ma'am turned to the board to write another formula, the duster fell on her head.
Leela ma'am was hurt and her head was covered with chalk dust.
She quickly scrambled out of the class announcing 'we'll continue tomorrow' rubbing her head in the process...
Abarna couldn't believe her eyes and she jumped like a clown.
She and her gang walked away victoriously out of the class to the canteen.
Like as if everything she wanted the universe conspired with her! 

Love is in the air

Love is in the air? Wrong, nitrogen, oxygen and carbon dioxide are in the air - Sheldon Cooper

This fellow is correct! Love and all is not there in the air. In the air, apart from these gases, so much dust, pollution, cow dung smell and cigarette smoke is only there. 

Simply, on valentine's day alone, love will come in the air a? Then if I breathe that 'love' filled air what will happen to me? Tell! At least I know that if I breathe the polluted air I will get breathing problems, some diseases like asthma etc etc. What I'll get if I breathe the love air? Love a? Ayee, simply don't joke like this. 

Ok, one more thing you tell me, then today love is in the air, then tomorrow where this love will go? Into water a? Hey such stories and all tell somebody with flower in the ear. I won't believe. Why you are telling love is in the air. Love is a feeling no? Correct? That means feeling and all should be in your heart no? If love is in the air, then what is there in your heart? oh oh oh, don't tell blood, arteries, pump and all such biology related things. Even small baby knows. I also know. 

Tell me, love is in the air means what? What is the advantages of it? I want to know!

Something happened.

Naaz, what plans for this weekend. Ajith's text read.

I called him back.

"Hey Naaz, what's up?" He sounded cheerful.

'Ajith, I'm going to my native for a few days'

"Oh, what happened? When? For how long?"

'My granny isn't keeping too well. My mum and I are leaving tonight'

"Oops. I'm so sorry. For how long are you away?"

'For a week, I guess.'

"A week??????" 

'Yeah, she's my granny and I love her a lot. That's why a week.'

"I know that."

Brief silence.

"I'll miss you so much, Naaz"

'I'll miss you too, Ajith.' I said softly.

"We will be able to speak over the phone right?"

'I have no clue. May be we can.'

"Alright, you take good care of her. I will pray for her speedy recovery."

'Thanks, Ajith. I'll text you.'

"Sure."

'Bye, Ajith'

"Bye, Naaz"

Something weird just happened right? I thought to myself. We were very good friends, yes. Not lovers. We shouldn't be bothered about being able to talk over the phone or not. 

I packed my bags and left to the station. I couldn't stop thinking of Ajith. 

I helped my mum with her bags as we got into the train. She had the lower berth and I, the upper. I placed my luggage with hers and quickly climbed up to my berth. 

I checked my phone. 

2 unread messages. 

1 message from the bank guys notifying me about my bank statement generation for the month.

1 message from Bhargavi. 

No message from Ajith. 

Bhargavi wrote: Hey Naaz, don't worry. Your granny will be alright. You take good care of her and you also take good care of yourself. Love you. 

Naaz: Thanks di. I will. You take care too. Love you loads. 

I took out my train book, Ulysses. 

But I was in no mood to read. My mind was so occupied with my conversation with Ajith. There was something to the way he said he would miss me and the way I reciprocated. 

I didn't know I should text him. I was extremely restless. 

It was a 14 hour journey to Kerala and those 14 hours were my life's most restless hours. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't read, I couldn't eat anything, I didn't seem to exist. My mum didn't say anything. She was already overwhelmed with my granny's condition. She just touched my hand before going to sleep and kissed me good night. 

All night I kept staring at the phone. In the middle of the night, I got an SMS. 

It was a message from my phone provider telling me that I had now entered Kerala and roaming charges would apply here on. 

We reached Cochin early in the morning. My uncle came to pick us up from the station. All of us were dull and tired that morning. I wasn't looking forward to going to my granny's house because I just couldn't bring myself to think of her as a sick patient and being bed ridden. 

We reached home and all of my aunts, rushed to hug my mum and they all cried. As if it was not enough, they all looked at me with tears flowing down their cheeks. I couldn't cry. But I was sad. 

I walked up to my room and lay down on the bed. I don't know how, but I fell asleep. I slept for 8 hours straight. 

Nobody woke me up for breakfast nor lunch. 

I checked my phone and no message from Ajith. I took a bath and got ready to finally meet my granny. 

As I entered my granny's room, I forgot everything else. I forgot Ajith. I forgot my loneliness. I forgot Dev. Everything. It was just me and my granny from here. 

I sat down next to her and touched her hand. She had shrunk miserably and she couldn't recognize me anymore. I felt her bones as I caressed her. She lay calmly, she was unaware that there were so many in the family, filled with anguish and anxiety over her illness. She slept like a baby. 

When I was young, I would come every summer to live with my grandparents. I loved my summer vacations here because my grandparents looked after us with so much love and care. I once fell very ill while on my vacation and I remember my grandparents would stay up all night beside me, holding my hand and crying and praying that I become alright soon. My grandad passed away many years ago and my granny was inconsolable ever since. They loved each other a lot. That's what I admired in my grandparents. They loved each other through thick and thin and old age and sickness and everything that came their way. She was lonely after he left and she ceased to exist. She loved us, but she was no more my old granny. Part of her died when my grandad left. 

I took her hands in mine and kissed her hands. The same hands that took care of me, cooked for me, braided my hair. My mother sat next to me and cried. I think she knew something and couldn't come to terms with it. 

All of us were going through a rough time.

My phone beeped. 

I miss you, Naaz.

I kept reading that message like it had all my life's answers in it. Like it was my very purpose of life. Like it was all I had ever dreamed of. 

After Dev left, I was filled will loneliness. I was depressed and sad. And now somebody else was filling that void. And I liked it. 

I miss you too, Ajith. 

I meant it. I was really missing Ajith. He made me happy. The happiness I thought I'd never be able to experience in my life. 

Naaz, what is wrong with us? His text read.

I wish I knew. I responded. 

It hurts. Because you are my best friend. And it shouldn't hurt so much. But it hurts.

I didn't respond.

And then the saddest cry filled the room. My mother was shrieking. She wailed. She fell down. Everybody around me, fell to the ground as if great doom had set upon them. 

My granny passed away. She was waiting to see my mother. She died in the presence of all her children. She was calm. She just passed away. 

I love you, Naaz. I am sorry if this is wrong. But I love you. 

I cried. 

New Friendship. New beginnings. New joys!

After Ajith came into my life, I started living again. In one sense, his friendship completed my loneliness and mine, his. 

We went out for movies in the weekends, ate out whenever possible and did a lot of shopping together. 

Ajith always cracked funny jokes, and I would take the liberty to laugh out loud in his presence. He didn't mind. I didn't either. 

We were two carefree individuals, totally enjoying each other's company. 

Ajith wouldn't miss any opportunity to flirt with other girls and I'd laugh so much after he'd be let down by all those girls.  Yet he never gave up.

"Find a good girl for me no, Naaz" he'd ask me with his puppy eyes.

'Do I look a broker to you, you idiot' I'd laugh back

"Good friends will do that much at least na..."

'Well then this good friend of yours, will shed blood and sweat to find a beautiful girl, but I may die in the process and you'd still be single' 

"Heyyy... Hello Naaz! You just wait till I find a beautiful girl and introduce her to you. You will be all jealous and all"

'Ya right, in your dreams, I will be jealous. Listen, Ajith, honestly, if you did find a girl for yourself, I'd be really happy for you!'

"Hmm... yeah, you mean it" he smiled at me.

I smiled back. 

It felt good. I had a friend. A guy friend. 

Lunch with Ajith - Part 2

"Where is Dev, Naaz?" Ajith asked me. 
I didn't know how to respond to that question. 
"I don't know, Ajith" I replied slowly.

Both of us ate in silence for the rest of the afternoon. 
"Naaz?" Ajith spoke, after what seemed like eons to me. Sometimes silence can be so brutal. 
"The food here is good" I replied.
"Yeah, I told you so." He spoke and smiled at me. "How about some desserts?"
"hmmm... sure, I'd like some"

Ajith ordered cheesecake for both of us. We ate, paid the bill and left the place.

"Why don't we walk" Ajith asked me.
Though I was is no mood, I didn't have anything on my agenda and nodded yes. 

It was 4 in the afternoon, cars and bikers were zooming past us as we walked down the streets of Adyar. We didn't speak to each other. But we kept exchanging glances at each other throughout the walk. 

Every time I looked at Ajith, he'd look at me. Every time he looked at me, I'd look at him.

It was so weird. And uneasy at the same time. 

And every time we looked at each other, we'd just look into each other's eyes and then look down at the road again. Like as if our eyes spoke to each other. 

My mind was playing games with me. I was walking with Ajith, someone I didn't like and didn't want to be associated with, and I was feeling a sense of joy inside. My heart was actually happy. My mind was at peace. 

What was happening to me? 

I looked at Ajith one more time. This time, Ajith did not look like Dev's brother to me. He just looked like Ajith. My new buddy. 

copy cat a?

What ya, all weddings are looking the same. Same saree, same coat suit, same flower girls, same decorations, same old aunties giggling, same make up, same photographs. 

One minute, one minute. 

why all the photos of all the marriages are looking the same? 

One photo, both are holding hands.

Another photo, both are showing their wedding ring.

One photo, girl is in focus and boy is blurred.

Another photo, girl is blurred and boy is in focus. 

Same. Same. Same. Copy cats. 

All girls are wearing same saree. Some brocade green color blouse for red color saree. Then they are showing their bare backs to everybody in the world. and they are taking photos and putting in the Facebook. Then all are girls are simply bugging the photographer to take photographs, one side angle pose, then back angle pose, then front angle pose, then they will wear ray ban glasses and pose like minor, then they will keep their lips like pouting out and pose, ayyooo that photographer is uploading the next day in this photography page, in that album all pretty girls are there and all boys are putting jollu looking at the girls. Even aunties are coming for all weddings. But nobody is taking their photos. Even some non-modern girls are coming there, but that photographer is not even turning to their side. Why this partiality?

Then coming to girl and boy, all are posing same pose. Simply jumping up and down in the beach, looking into each other's eyes, their shadow will kiss... same pose, bore pose.

Suddenly everybody is getting married. In this Facebook, all the time only wedding photographs are coming. Or those trolls are coming. First it was nice to see wedding photograph. I miss many deadlines because of it. Now, I am getting only irritation looking at same wedding style and all. All are copying. Why we can't think of our own head? We don't have a? 

In our mummy daddy era, if anybody says, I am 'wedding photographer' means all will consider like third rated job and all. Now if I am saying that I am wedding photographer, then all will give me their number and book me and pay me lakhs, and fly me to exotic locations. Jolly! 

Anyway, what for me. I am not spending no, I should not bother :D

This is not social media!

Facebook, Twitter and the like - they are not social media sites. They are private podiums, for people to get on and shout their mind out loud, hurl abuses, express anger and then get off safely. Some people will clap, some will ignore, some wont even know you got onto the podium and some won't bother. 

What social media nonsense are you talking about? What is social about these sites?

We will like people's photos online and then when we meet them, we will not even realize who they are. What is this? huh? 

And marriages? What are people marrying these days? Their partner or their photographer? 

And what is this puppet like behavior we are all exhibiting?

One person is nodding their head for something, millions are following suit.

We don't have any individuality, huh?

Arrey, what is this? For everything we are shouting online.

Somebody will die, we will shout online.

Somebody will rape, we will shout online.

Somebody will not play cricket properly, we will shout online.

Somebody's movie is not getting released, we will shout online.

Somebody said something about my religion, we will shout online.

Somebody said something about my ethnicity, we will shout online. 

Why we are only shouting online? Oh, we can't go out and shout no? We will be put in jail. Anyway, we are so scared. Safely, we will shout here and go away. Correct? 

Then what social media you are talking about?

Breeding a generation of angry people, who will shout online and then go back to their work in office. 

Breeding a generation of people whose job is to indulge in 'BIG TALK, NO ACTION' , just like our old generation. They didn't have social media, we have. Otherwise there is no difference.

Breeding a generation of people, who will just not move their bums off their chairs. 

Arrey, did we vote properly?

Did we do anything for the nation? 

Did we enter college without paying capitation?

Did we join civil services?

Did we enter sports and play for our country? 

What we did? huh? 

What we did, you know? Logged into Facebook and twitter. All the time. 

That's all! 

We Indian employees!

We think that staying back late in office is one way to get noticed.
One way to get promoted.
One way to show people that you are extremely busy.
One way to show your boss that you have been toiling hard and you deserve to be the next boss.

Why? WHY?

Is it something we have been taught in school? Or college?

Personally, I feel staying back late in office is as shameful as coming late to office. Here I want to make a confession. I am no early reportee at work. Somehow over time, I have gotten used to the fact that its OK to go to work a little late. Trust me, it's not OK. They notice, and one day they send you a memo! :D
My question however is, why is it that staying back late is not treated with the same disrespect then? If I stay back late in office, I SHOULD be given a memo. Ya, seriously, if you can't finish your work within the stipulated time, you ought to be finished  punished. OK, fine, sometimes we cannot finish the work in the given time, so we overstay our working hours. But we shouldn't overdo it right? Working till 1 a.m. or 5 a.m. Hello!

But I tell you, these days such petty strategies work. People who overstay at office actually end up looking important and busy and in turn get rewarded with promotions or hikes.

Seriously, people should start looking at the work done, not the time when it gets done!

If you salute your Duty
You don't need to salute
Anybody,
But
If you pollute your Duty, You have to Salute Everybody 
A.P.J Abdul Kalam

Who is to be blamed?

Rape was always a part of society’s being and it will continue to be so. Unless every man turns gay, in which case, other men will be raped. Nevertheless, rape will continue. So will murder, cheating, theft and lying. So then who is to be blamed? What follows below is not my reasoning. There is no answer to this question; perhaps, it is natural for bad to exist.

We just want a leader. A bad leader.

When Jesus was sentenced to death, nobody cried for his release.  They wanted Barabbas instead. They learnt from Jesus’s teachings, were fed and nursed by him, yet they wanted to kill him.

When Hitler decided to kill millions of Jews, everybody stood by him. He had millions of people backing him for what he claimed was justice.

Jesus had all but 13 followers, most of who fled away when he was in trouble.

We want to have an upper hand over women.

We watch movies where they show an illiterate, dastardly goon falling in love with a girl; who at first hates him. But after being stalked repeatedly, she falls madly in love with him and leaves her rich parents behind to lead the “happily ever after life” with him. Whose ego are we boosting? Why is the girl falling prey to an idiot who thinks he can get a girl by following her and tormenting her and sometimes slapping her for being so arrogant!

A young student in Chennai was victim to acid attack for not accepting the love proposal from a petty construction worker. Why should she say yes to any dick who thinks he can get the girl if he wants to?

Good education is for the rich. Only.

Only the rich and affluent can afford great education. If you are poor and helpless, there are umpteen number of corporation and government schools. But you might as well not go there. The teachers don’t speak any English nor do they really know what they are teaching, your uniform is not of any concern to anybody, and you needn’t have any food in school.

Discrimination begins from school.

The rich children are one gang. Which means they can bully those who cannot afford the same watch or have the same luxury car. The poor children are another gang. They aspire to become rich and arrogant like the rich gang someday.

 The Police force is all but a bunch of male servants.

They salute ministers, buy vegetables for their seniors’ wives, bring their children back from school, don’t speak good English. Nobody calls them officer, nobody respects them. If somebody drives around in an Audi, the policeman has to talk to them softly, so as to not hurt the rich guy’s sentiments.

They live in 200 sq ft quarters, 4 or 5 of them in the family. Their children go to government schools and they don’t get a deserving childhood even though their dad is in the prestigious police force. The department does not do anything to remind them that they got into the police force by sitting in the scorching sun for hours, waiting for their physical tests; when each one of them walked into the police grounds with pride that they were going to serve the nation. Today, they have paunches and they don’t care. Because, nobody cares.

The law is governed by the rich and influential.

The rich once governed the church. They would pay money to wash away their sins. It’s the same today; they pay money to judges and courts to evade their faults.

Parents take pride in giving their children luxury gifts.

It’s OK for the sons to have a car at the age of 13 and an iPhone to go with it, as long as everybody in the society knows that he is your son. It’s OK for the daughters to lash out their tongue at the servant maid, who is barely 10 years of age; because the daughter is born into a rich family while the poor servant girl chose a poor family. It’s OK if the sons keep switching girlfriends and speak abusively of them, because having a playboy image is an absolute necessity among the elite.

Nobody does their work.

If everybody does their work with sincerity and honesty, a lot of things would be different today. A bus driver drives slowly; a corporation lays good roads; an architect builds an apartment with good materials; a consumer goods manufacturer manufactures unadulterated goods; a government rules honestly – these are some of the dreams of a common man in the society. And look at us, we go to work, update our status on FB, browse through websites and come back home. 

Corporates don’t want people.

They are looking for human robots, who will do just as they say and have no opinion of their own. Qualities like being a suck-up and backstabbing co-workers is a plus.

We are angry.

Anger is a fashion statement. You are not a man, if you don’t get angry. It’s just like growing a beard.

Black Vs White

I’m a dark woman/man, and therefore I’m a disgrace in the society. I have no confidence, I have no good clothes to complement my complexion, I don’t get jobs, basically I can’t live. As a dark man, I don’t get girls.

Because Fair & Lovely, Fairever, Fair-whatever can only do camera tricks and not save you in reality, you are for eternity, a shame!

Love is nothing but a fashion statement.

Love is 2-day anniversaries, 6-week anniversaries, photo-shoots in exotic locations, international vacations, expensive dinner dates, and exorbitantly priced diamonds.

Everybody has a secret. They will never share it.

Every single human being on this earth is living a lie. What they really want to be in life, and what they really become are two different extremes. We begin to accept the lie and slowly start believing that it is the new truth.

A man once killed his sister’s children, brutally beating them with a cricket bat. Both the children lay on the bed, soaked in their own blood. When questioned on what led him to commit such a gruesome act, he said that he felt liberated and free when beating the children. He felt like he was beating his dad, who always overpowered him and dominated him. Killing those little children was therapeutic to him.

There are instances in our lives, when we want to break open and speak out our minds. But we just can’t. Because, nobody will understand.

If it is forbidden, it will instigate curiosity.

When Eve ate the forbidden fruit and let her partner participate in the same, little did they know that they were going to change the way the world would live from then on.

Every forbidden act, object will nevertheless create a great sense of curiosity. So great, that until you unravel the mystery behind it, you will not have any other purpose to fulfill. And when you do come to learn the truth, you will abuse it extensively, as if without it your life was never complete.

I want to conclude by saying that, any problem is not the cause of one factor.  It is the combination of myriad factors. If we want to solve one problem, many other problems will have to be solved too. Greed, money, caste and religion.

Puzzled

You know how it feels when you talk and nobody listens? Or they listen and pretend like they didn't listen? It's weird that way. My blog is possibly going that way.

While I don't mind it, sometimes it is funny. I mean, imagine. Just typing away posts, on this space like as if scribbling in my personal diary. Yeah, it is my personal diary then right? Then why am I ok with it being public? As a matter of fact, I have not really shared my blog with many people, because you know, I can sound very arrogant sometimes. So I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.
My! Am I mad?

Two face!

At work, I'm silent and reserved.

At home, I'm a lunatic.

Human Worshipers!

When Moses rescued the people from Egypt, they worshiped a Golden calf for God. Today people worship human beings. Seriously? Which group is more naive?

They will ignore their mother, blast her, scream loudly at their dad, and treat their siblings badly, but they will worship Sachin Tendulkar, ministers, godmen.

No Moses will come to rescue us.

Lunch with Ajith

"Hey Naaz, how have you been? Possible to meet you sometime? Let me know" Ajith texted me
I messaged him back.
'Sure, Ajith. Let me know when and where.'
"Lunch, today?" He replied quickly
'Okay, let me know where and I'll be there' I replied back

I had been ignoring Ajith for a long time and thought it was unfair. Even if I did continue to ignore me, he wouldn't stop texting me or keeping in touch with me.
One lunch wouldn't hurt. I thought.

"Let's go to Pesto. 1:30 pm" he replied
'Sure, I'll meet you there.

Ajith was Dev's younger sibling. Basically, Ajith and I were of the same age. But somehow, he always appeared to be less mature than me. Or may be I was too mature for my age. I found Ajith's attitude very casual. He simply cracked jokes, texted me incessantly, spoke too fast. I didn't find him attractive, didn't thinik he was funny and sometimes I thought he was slightly cracked.
Let me see how he eats. I thought

I took a rickshaw to the restaurant. These rickshaw guys drive me crazy all the time. It's almost like they know I hate them and they gladly reciprocate the hatred towards me.
Pesto was like a 9 km drive from where I lived and the rickshaw charged me 180 bucks. I didn't complain because I wanted to keep my mind free from all negative energy. I wanted to think.

****
"Anna, we need to get to Adyar" Dev spoke to the rickshaw guy
"200 rupees" he demanded
"200? 200? Why are you asking for 200 anna? Adyar is just 20 minutes away" Dev rebutted
"So?" screamed the rickshaw guy "I have to take so many U-turns, there are so many diversions, plus this is peak time. Come for 200 or go"
"Ya, we'll go" proclaimed, Dev. "Let's walk, Naaz"
All the while, I was hoping Dev would just say yes to the rickshaw guy. I didn't want to walk.
'Erhm, let's look for another auto na, Dev' I sweetly told him
"No, all of them are like this. Besides, walking is good for us. The weather is not so bad" he assured me

I looked up at the sky and I almost went blind. The sun was out in full glory and as if smirking at me, it tickled my eyes. I surrendered to Dev and the Sun.

"These auto guys are notorious." Dev continued
'Yeah, Dev. They are. Let them be. Why don't be take the bus?" I asked in futile hopes
"Naaz! Let's walk and let's talk"
'Ok, but I don't talk when I walk.'
"Why not?"
'Because that's how I'm trained.'
"Trained?"
'Yeah. In the gym. I walk on the treadmill and I'm not supposed to talk.'
"Ha ha ha Naaz. Man, you are such a lazy girl."
I blushed in embarrassment
"Man, we're going to be really hungry after this walk."
'I hope it rains.'
"That would be awesome. Let's hope so!"
We walked some distance and I was already feeling exhausted.
'Dev, what are your plans in life?'
"Hmmm, I haven't given it much thought, Naaz. Why do you ask?"
'I just like to know what people's aspirations are like.'
"Really? What's yours?"
'I don't know.'
"Are you looking for an inspiration? ha ha ha"
'No. Not like that. I'm happy now and that's all that matter for the moment.'
"Good, good. I may be going abroad for my post graduation."
'Oh.'
I didn't say anything. Dev was 2 years senior to me. He had one year to go and then he would fly away. Just like that.
"What? That's your reaction? Oh?"
'What do you want me to say then?'
"All the best?"
'All the best, Dev' I smiled
"You're not happy, are you?"
'Of course I'm happy for you Dev'
"Then why do you sound dull?"
'Nothing.'
"Tell me"
'Nothing'
"No, tell me"
'I will miss you'
"ha ha ha. That's all? and you're upset?"
'Ok, I won't miss you. But don't be so mean.'
"Why will you miss me. Come with me"
'WHAT?'
"You also come to do your PG abroad"
My heart skipped a million beats. Just imagining being in the same place with Dev was killing me in joy. Such a weird feeling love is. I was crazy about Dev and I think he knew.
'Let's see, Dev.'
"Ok, Naaz." He smiled
'Ok, Dev' I mocked him
 We both laughed.

****
"Madam, this is the place no?" The autorickshaw guy spoke
'Ah, yes. Thanks.' I got down and noticed Ajith was waiting for me
"Hey Naaz! Good to see" He extended his hands
'Good to see you too, Ajith' I shook his hands
"Our table is ready. Let's go."
We sat down and the waiter brought the menu cards. Ajith ordered for a bottle of water and he let me read the menu in peace. I took my own time to understand what was on the card.

"I really like this place, Naaz" he interrupted
'Do you come here often?' I asked him
"I've come here with my office colleagues. The food is really good."
'Oh alright.' I placed the menu card on the table
"So, what will you have?"
'Since you've already been here, I thought I should let you decide. I am good with anything.'
"Wow. That's quite a task." He sighed
He ordered a Basil Tortellini soup to being with.
"Thanks for coming, Naaz. I had my doubts. You hardly reply to my texts."
'I know. I just don't text that much.'
"How's work?"
'Not bad. But I'm in no mood to discuss it'
"I understand. ha ha"
He laughed just like Dev. I ignored it.
A little baby girl in the adjacent table was seated on her baby seat and was playing with her food.  She looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back and made funny faces at her. She laughed and clapped her hands.
"Hey, she seems to like you" Ajith spoke
'I'm good with kids. I can easily make funny faces'
"It's cute"
'Huh?'
"The baby"
'Hmmm, yeah' I ignored his last comment
"Let me see if I can solve this puzzle" Ajith announced as he got busy with finishing the puzzle on our table mats
For the first time, I took a good look at Ajith. I had seen him a couple of times, but I never took the trouble to notice how he looked, his features, his hair, nothing. It was none of my business.
He was tall, very tall, lean and dark. He had a weird smile. When he smiled, his teeth on his right extreme would jut out. It was cute but weird cute. He had a rather long nose. He had thick black hair and sported a french beard. One cannot miss his great sense of dressing. I should say, he was dressed to kill.
"Ah, done' He looked up
I quickly looked away, as if I was never looking at him in the first place.
'Oh, good good.' I congratulated him
The waiter brought our soup. It was steaming hot and I was getting hunry.
I ate my soup silently.
When I looked up, Ajith was looking at me.


"Where is Dev, Naaz?" He asked me.

That's when I knew, all this while, Ajith didn't want to tell me anything about Dev.
He wanted to know something about Dev.

Ajith and Naaz meet

Saturday, 10:00 AM and I was wide awake. A time when I'm usually in bed, sleeping like a log. In fact, there are times, my mum has thought I was dead. I sleep like that.
I was up since 6:00 in the morning, wondering why Ajith wanted to meet me.
I wore my faded blue jeans and a white shirt. Tied my hair into a ponytail and looked myself in the mirror. I looked miserable but I didn't care. I wasn't particularly interested in meeting Ajith. I was rather skeptical about him bringing Dev into our conversation. I closed the door behind me, prepared for whatever was waiting for me outside.
Why on earth would anybody want to meet at Topaz? I thought.
Topaz was a new hangout for hookah enthusiasts and for solitary readers. It was old house, renovated to give a vintage feel to the ambiance. Complete with creepers, rustic fans and swings, the place was a steal away from the buzz of the city. But it is an expensive affair nonetheless, to sip a coffee in there, one'll have to shell out Rs. 115. Gasp. I can buy myself a whole meal with that money.
I walked into the garden and seated myself on the swing. It creaked when I sat on it.
'Doesn't matter.' I thought to myself and continued swinging.
My phone beeped.
Hi Naaz... I'll be there in ten mins. Just on my way. 
I did not reply. Let him come.
The waiter came in and asked me if I wanted something. I asked him to hold on.
Just then Ajith greeted me.
'I thought you said ten mins' I exclaimed, not expecting him to walk in like that.
"Yeah... well, I wanted to surprise you"
'What's there to surprise in this' I was irritated.
"Ok. It backfired. So, how long have you been waiting here Naaz?"
'10 mins may be...'
"Sorry to have kept you waiting..."
'That's OK.' I cut him short. Honestly, I was not in a very chatty mood that morning. My mind was occupied by Dev.
Ajith sat down next to me on the swing. It creaked even louder.
I got up and walked up to the next table that was free. I couldn't risk getting embarrassed. Ajith joined me shortly.
"Guess, these swings are not meant for two people."
'Yeah, may be they are meant for pigeons'
He laughed like he had never laughed in his life. Like a maniac. Now he was beginning to irritate me more.
'Ajith, I'll be honest with you. I want to know why you wanted to meet me. Please tell me before I lose my patience.'
"Naaz. I have been texting you everyday, hoping you'd reply. You seldom do. I just wanted to meet you in person."
'That's all?'
"Are you expecting me to say something?"
'Huh?'
"Coffee?"
'Ok.' I looked away.
He waved at the waiter and ordered two coffees.
"How's work?"
'What do you do Ajith?' I asked him curtly.
"Wow! Well, I'm an engineer. I work with L&T."
'Oh...' I sighed
"Sad life I know"
'I never said that'
"The sigh speaks volumes"
'What do you do on weekends?'
"Nothing much, I catch up with friends. It's at the movies mostly. What about you?"
'What's taking the coffee so long?'
"Naaz, I know. Here see this."
He stretched out a small piece of paper towards me.
I looked at him and then the paper and then again at him.
'What's that?' I asked him rather suspiciously.
"A love letter?" He smirked
'WHAT?' I squealed.
"No. Relax! Goodness, you freaked me out"
'What the hell is that Ajith?' I was now irritated to the utmost core that I wanted to tear him into pieces.
"I want you to tell me that Naaz."

I simply stared at him. The coffee arrived. The waiter placed it on the table and left to attend to other hungry souls. Hardly any at that time. I took a sip and got up.


"I found this in Dev's desk. It's a song." He handed the piece of paper to me.
I took a look at it. Folded it and tucked it away.
"May be it's for you"
My eyes welled up.
"Naaz..." Ajith called for me.
I heard him but I was already gone. I was no longer there. I just wanted to read that song.

The song that my Dev had written for me.

Happy Meeting

"Naaz, Naaz, Naaz" Dev kept chanting over the phone

'Yes, Dev. What do you want?' I asked him slowly.

"Your name. It has a beautiful sound to it." 

I was blushing on the other end, but didn't want to accept it.

'Please Dev, I don't like it when people make fun of my name'

"I WAS NOT making fun of your name, Naaz! Why would you think that?" He asked concerned

I was smiling here, Dev didn't know.

'I'm kidding. And thanks. So what plans for today?'

"You tell me" he asked me lovingly

Over here, I was flying over the clouds. Dev asking me what my plans were. Such bliss.

'Let's go to the beach?'

"Done. I'll pick you up at 4:00 pm"

'No, I'll come on my own. See you.'

I was feeling exceptionally weird today. Something in our tone had changed. Were we falling in love? I was already in love with him. In a good way. There were so many questions in my mind. 

I got dressed and went to the beach.  I sat down in the spot we usually haunt and started making a circle around me, like demarcating an area for Dev and me to sit. 

It was 3:55 pm and I looked back to see if Dev was anywhere around. I saw him walking towards me. We were such sincere timekeepers!

Huffing and puffing after walking on the bumpy shore, Dev sat next to me, inside the little circle I had drawn. 

I looked at him and smiled. He smiled back at me. As always, his smile blew me away. 

I looked down at the sand. I realized Dev was still looking at me. 

I slowly tilted my head to look at him and he was staring at me.

'What Dev? Why aren't you saying something?' I broke the awkward silence.

He smirked at me and pulled out a little packet. 

"Here open this."

'What is it?' I asked him

"Open."

It was little white box. Paper box. With a pretty ribbon on it. I untied the ribbon and slowly opened the box. 

'What's this, Dev?' 

"It's been an year already, Naaz!"

'I know!'

"So? Shall we?"

I simply smiled.

'Ok, let's do it together.'

We took out the little chocolate cupcake from the box and shared it together. 

"Happy Friendship day, Naaz. I'm glad we met"

'I'm glad I met you too, Dev.'

Blank

OMG just this morning, I had 3 great posts in mind. I kept re-remembering them throughout my drive to work. As soon as I sat here, I forgot the posts. Like all of them.

Chi. I'm so stupid. I have a phone, I should have made a note. But no, I relied on my brain to store it. I thought I will reprocess it and then we can live happily ever after. But no. I just can't seem to rely on it anymore. It must be the age.

Or. May be, that's how it has always been.

May be I overused it.

Hee hee.

I'm a semma K.D

This is kinda like my confession. Ok world, I confess, I am a BIG K.D 

Hold on, let me search for the full form of K.D

Old Chennai police abbreviation for either "known delinquent", "known depredator" or "known defaulter" or "Known Denotified person".

I have done lot of K.D things. Hmmm... where do I begin? 

When I was in 4th standard, my brother and I devised an evil plan to disturb an aunty we used to hate. Hee hee hee. We used to dial her number and when she picked up, we would play the "Muqala Muqabila" song loudly... hee hee hee. It still cracks me up so much.

When I was in 5th standard, I tied up one small little boy (who is a non-related brother) to a tree for being naughty. Che. I'm such a bully.

When I was in the same 5th standard, I used to play hotch-potch/Pandi with my friends. You know that super game where you draw 8 boxes and throw stones. You have to hop on the boxes and pick up the stone and come back. It's a super duper fun game. You need a smooth stone for the game, otherwise the stone will roll off and not settle on the boxes easily. Before we began our game for that evening, all of us in the colony scattered around to search for smooth stones. I found one, my friends found one for themselves, my brother also found one. There was this little boy in our gang, the same boy whom I tied to the tree, who just couldn't find a stone for himself. I noticed that there was some dried dog shit lying among a pile of stones. I'M SO EVIL. I told him to pick up the dry dog shit because it was smooth! Man, HE DID! Hee hee hee. He kept holding onto it and when his turn came, he threw what he assumed to be a stone and it just powered away.

Sometime, during the same phase of my life, the boy gang in our colony used to bully us by taking up all the space in the colony play area to play cricket. One day, all of us stole their cricket bats and hid it. The next day when they came looking for the bats, they didn't get pissed off that we hid their bats, they got pissed off that we were dancing for 'I'm a barbie girl' in the play area. Nearly 10 girls dancing to that song! ROFL. This is so funny. 

I once conducted a culturals event in my colony. I was the event manager and organized everything. I must have been in 6th standard then. The plan was that everybody pays a small amount, 20 bucks or something, prepares for a dance, song or skit, and brings food from home. The amount was for the gifts. According to my plan, all participants would get gifts so that no one would feel bad. See? I'm a nice girl :) I was so excited about this event, I ran about the entire area, shopped for gifts, planned everything and practiced for my performance. On the day of the event, all the children came out and assembled in the lawn. We all brought along snacks and sweets from home. Our parents were also excited and everybody assembled in their respective balconies to watch the event. They were otherwise not allowed to come :P The event started and everybody participated. I was the judge for all the events and I participated in all the events. Can you imagine? I won the first place in most of the events. LOL. Best bit, everybody agreed. LOL

There was this one time, when my brother and I played a prank on our friends. They were twin brothers and always an easy bait for any bullying. We told them that it was my brother's b'day the next day and that they are invited for the party. Those paavam, naive boys ran back to their homes and informed their mother about it. The next day, we were all playing and these two boys, all dressed up and big gift box in hand, walk towards my house. Seeing them going, my brother and I hid to see what was going to happen. They rang the bell and my mother opened the door. She was shocked to learn that they had come for a b'day party. She was obviously moved because she called them in, gave them juice and snacks and sent them back. They went back home with the gifts. My mother gave a piece of her mind when we got back home. When my brother really celebrated his b'day those boys never came!

When I was in 8th standard, my parents took us to watch The Titanic. I don't think it said 'A' rated movie or anything because a lot of families came to watch the movie with their kids. Everything was going well in the movie, till the painting scene came. My mother, as if by some reflex action quickly turned to look at me. In an equally faster reflex action, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. She was relieved and continued to watch the movie. What she didn't know was, I was actually watching the scene through my closed eyes. Ya, ya, ya, I'm sure you all know how to do that! :P Then things came back to normal until the car scene popped up. Again my mother turned to look at me. This time, I acted even more convincingly, I snored! To give an impression that all through I had been sleep and that I was really sound asleep. She was again relieved. But I saw the entire scene. Just like you all did. Hee hee hee. 

When I was in college, I used to be the first girl in class to shout, "ma'am please ma'am.... please ma'am...." whenever the professor came to take a test. All the other girls would join me in chorus, but I'd take the lead. 

You know, I can go on... :)

I have also done some sweet innocent things like burying a dead cockroach and conducting a funeral procession for it. I assumed that since we are catholics, the insects in our house are also catholics. The coffin was made of the infamous Cheetah matchbox. Sweet no? 

Hmmm... so how was your childhood? Mine was fun, alright! :)

Boss a? Illa Loosu a?

Vadivelu is a funny guy. Or whoever writes his lines, is a funny guy. In any case, this post is not about him. I just stole his line from a movie for my blog title. So I thought I should give some credit.

This post is actually about bosses. And some looosu cases.

Ok may be not bosses.

NOTE: This post is a work of pure fiction. Well, not exactly fiction. Somebody once narrated this to me and I jotted it down, cause I found it funny. If you feel it sounds familiar or is remotely related to somebody you know or if you are trying to think who it is, no need to rake your brains. Just read ahead! :D

There was once a boss, who was a typical loosu case. She would say do this thing, and then send 2 people to spy to see if the person was really doing it or doing something else. She is like this one turtle story I heard somewhere. It is one super semma comedy story. 

3 turtles went out on a trek. (This in itself is a semma comedy line no?) Anyway, so they trekked, and trekked and trekked. Like for a long time they trekked. Then they felt very hungry. So they all sat down to eat, when one of the turtles realized he forgot to bring his food. All became semma angry at his foolishness. And the other two turtles were very strict about sharing food, because they only brought enough food for one. The absent-minded turtle then announced that he was going to go back to get his food and that the other two turtles should not eat while he was away. He made them promise him. They promised and he left. 

The two paavam turtles, waited, waited, waited and waited. 

Still waiting.

Waiting. 

Waiting.

Waiting.

(Ok, I'll stop)

So even after 2 years, the mokkai turtle didn't come back. These paavam turtles sat hungry waiting for him to return. (Yes they waited 2 years without eating; I told you its a story right?) 

Then finally, one brainy turtle said "Hey what da machan, that mokkai payyan will not return. At least let us eat. I am famished." The other agreed and they opened their tiffin boxes to eat. 

Suddenly, they heard a bush moving and they saw their mokkai friend walk towards them. 

He spoke angrily, "I KNEW IT! I knew you guys wouldn't wait for me to return. That's why I stood spying on you for two years, testing you to see if you would really keep your promise"

Ada mokkai payyaley! Nee innum pogalliya? 

Super story no? 

So, that boss was like this only. She used to make people hit their head on the wall; everyday. She would 'delegate' work, and then sit on their back, like vetal on Vikram's back' and go 'noi noi noi noi,' finished a? finished a? show me? finished a? when will you finish? finished a? why is it like? why is it not like that? 

She is one typical case only. 

She would schedule a meeting with somebody and then talk to somebody about how she is an olympic gold medalist, a pilot, a Nobel laureate, a top chef, F1 racer, dancer, actress, singer and ah, yes, a martian! She would claim that she was every damn thing in this universe.

If somebody met a vendor and updated her about the company and she would go "Ya ya, I know... I used to be in this business and all... I know everything." Somebody once met a Radio Jockey and told her about the how they could tap Radio for marketing and she went "Ya ya, I know everything about Radio. I have trained Radio Jockeys and I have been one myself." Somebody asked her, "WOW Really? When? Which Radio Station? What frequency?"

She doesn't like being asked question, because she really can't conjure up stories fast. She needs time. Because, she has no brain. So when somebody asked her these questions, she stammered, drank water, coughed and asked somebody to get out.

Somebody came out of the room and rolled on the floor in joy. Somebody defeated her. 

Somebody worked with her for 3 years and became bald. Also, somebody's head was starting to look like that of Megamind's. It was on the verge of bursting open.

Somebody wrote an article on women achievers of India, to be published in the company magazine. She looked through it, smirked and said "Write an article on prostitutes in India"
Somebody went "Ehhh?"
She said "What? Write an article on prostitutes. They work hard for a living"

Somebody resigned the job immediately!

Boss a? Illa loosu a?

Corrupt Killers!

Something terrible has to always happen before precautionary measures are implemented in this stinking corrupt country. Children must die in a fire accident in a thatched roof school; they must die of food poisoning in schools; they must to fall into gutters and die of suffocation; they must drown in rivers because of overspeeding; they have to be run over by school buses.
How many more children will this country kill?

I forgive thee.

How many times do we mean it, when we say, 'I forgive you.' Can we really forgive someone who has caused us pain. made us cry, made us hate ourselves? And even if we forgive someone, do we forget?
Can you live happily with someone who has hurt you?